top 5

All's well that ends well

Note: Once a week (or every other…we haven’t figured it out yet), on Tuesday, the BROWTF team will bring you a new “Top” list unlike anyone’s you’ve ever seen.  Yes, we’d love for every list to be “Top 10″, but Top 10’s are so played out.  Without further ado:

At 15, it used to just be boobs and vagina.  That was it and that was enough to blow your mind.  As the years went by, your taste turned more and more “unorthodox” until you reached a point when you were not sure if the things you were watching were even legal.  Below are the Top 6 Things My 15 Year-Old Self Never Thought He Would Be Watching at 30.

1)    Double Anal – This interesting phenomenon shouldn’t be visually stimulating.  Two guys have their penises inside a female’s butt hole, at the same time.  It seems like usually one guy just sits there with his inside, while the other guy does the pumping.  2 peens in one butt, huh?  Seems excessive.  I remember the first time I had sex (in a vagina), my penis felt like a camel traveling through the eye of a needle.  There was no way this thing could ever fit into an airtight sphincter.  But 15 years later and I’m watching 2 dudes butt fucking a girl (who seems to be enjoying it, by the way) at the same time.  2 thoughts:  1) For 2 penises to fit inside a butthole with seeming ease, shouldn’t that mean that this woman has less than stellar bowel control? (Yes, gross) And 2) How does your penis feel as he is unprotected in a shit cave while another penis is rubbing on him over and over again.  Shame on us.

2)    Fisting – That man has his entire fist inside her ass!  What is that all about and why am I watching this?

3)    Bukkake – Bukkake is definitely NOT Japanese for: “How to respect a woman” but it seems that for the right amount of money, classy broads will allow 5+ dudes to ejaculate on their face.  I, of course, would be mortified if I had to partake in that.  I don’t think I would do well being shoulder to shoulder with a bunch of guys moaning and jerking off, let alone cumming on a girl’s already-cummed-on head as she’s flailing about with her tongue, putting my penis in risk of touching the “foreign” semen on her face.  Yikes! I don’t ever want to be a part of that, but for some reason, it sure is damn fun to watch.

4)    Salad Tossing – If the 15 year-old me saw a porno of a woman sticking her tongue in a guy’s butt hole repeatedly, he would have been concerned with microbes, fecal matter, and stenches.  Now?  It seems like porn’s modus operandi.  Why wouldn’t you put your taste bud organ into the delta of a man’s shit river?  What are you, a prude?

5)    Rocco Siffredi shoving a girls head in a toilet while he bangs her in the ass – I think my 15 year-old-self would have started crying if he saw that, wondering if he should call the authorities. Now?  It’s like my starter porn, just to get things going.  I think this one is so arousing because you know you will never do this in your entire life…ever.  What kind of a conversation do you have with a girl after you’ve water boarded her in a toilet bowl while anally banging her?

6)    2 Girls, 1 Cup – Kidding…I only lasted 2 seconds watching that.  Who directs something like that?  How did the cameraman not pass out and die during filming?  I am hoping those women were actually marionettes and we just couldn’t see the wires.  Anyhow, if that ever does become arousing, I’m sure we will be living in a world like that of 28 Days Later.

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