Don't look directly into it. It could render your brain useless
I don’t know what horrifies me more.
A) Running into the idiots that answered this survey incorrectly (yes, incorrectly) and being forced to have a conversation with them or
B) If this report doesn’t horrify you, my faithful readers, more than the boogey man does.
Nearly a third of Texans believe humans and dinosaurs roamed the earth at the same time, and more than half disagree with the theory that humans developed from earlier species of animals, according to the University of Texas/Texas Tribune Poll.
That has to be the saddest thing about the progression of our species. More so than greed, corruption and murder. The fact that we get to live such a pampered life due to technology and on the backs of people that spent their lives dedicated to the advancement of technology so that we could live a little better, a little longer, and with a little more clarity and understanding of the world and universe around us, only to have half of us then “not believe” quite possibly the clearest scientific fact ever proven, is a travesty of the gravest degree.
For 1 out of 3 Texans to think that humans and dinosaurs roamed the earth together would be like 1 out of 3 Texans believing they could swim to the moon from the surface of the earth, on a river of Cool-Whip.
For 1 out of 2 Texans to think that humans did not develop from earlier species would be like 1 out of 2 Texans believing that the movie Cars was a documentary.
Yes it IS the same thing. Believe in God. Believe in reincarnation. Believe in killing yourselves and jumping on the back of comets. But not accepting a scientific fact as simple as the age of the earth, is what makes your beliefs laughable.
Can someone put the flag of “logic and science” at half mast. It is a sad sad day.
If you’d like to learn something about science and facts, I highly recommend watching this.
nice one, used the old "I can walk but I'm in a wheelchair trick"
It’s been far too long since we had a, “hey Texas, you suck!” post, so I’m fixing that right here and now. Thank you Texas prison system!
“The man who oversees Texas’ criminal justice system called Wednesday for a shake-up as authorities searched for a prisoner in a wheelchair who escaped on foot Monday from two armed guards as he was being transferred between prisons.”
Now, if you read that really fast it doesn’t seem like much more than simply a prison escape. Big deal, we see those all the time right? (is this a seriously problem by the way? Think about it…) But no, this is Texas. And because it’s Texas, it’s critical to point out the fact that this prisoner, in a wheelchair, escaped on FOOT. He stood up and RAN THE FUCK AWAY. On foot.
Are you fucking kidding me!?!?! WTF!
“Comeaux was shackled and in a wheelchair, “which he had claimed was needed for mobility,” Lyons said.
Obviously NOT! I mean, are blind guys doing the physicals in these prisons? Or was Comeaux bunking with Harry Potter and his magic wand…you tell me. And on a side note, Arcade Comeaux, is that name for real?
At least a Senator in Texas is starting to take notice:
“We need a complete shake-up of the leadership of our prison system and/or an outside review by third parties,” he said of the escape of Arcade Comeaux Jr., 49. “We just can’t have security breaches of this nature.”
Very good sir, very good. Now how about you put the 72 ounce steak down, get off your pathetic ass, and fix this. For christ sake Texas, WTF!
Yesterday I posted a story about moronic religious fanaticsburning books in the name of God. The same God that if he did exist, would turn them all into pillars of salt for “not getting it”. I thought that was as bad as it gets. Oh how wrong I was on my scale of bad-dom. This is your pre-weekend religious back-to-backer.
Khristian Oliver, 32, who is due to die on November 5, was sentenced to death in 1999 for murdering a man whose home Oliver was burgling. The victim was shot in the face and beaten with his own rifle. It later emerged that while deciding whether he should be given the death penalty, jurors consulted the Bible. Four jury members admitted that several copies had been in the jury room and that highlighted passages were passed around.
What? In yesterday’s article I joked that the book burning reminded me about the state of the pre-Enlightenment world. But this current story makes me wonder if Texas ever reached the Enlightenment.
At one point, a juror reportedly read aloud from a copy, including the passage: “And if he smite him with an instrument of iron, so that he die, he is a murderer: the murderer shall surely be put to death.”
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrro. I wish Thomas Jefferson was in that room to cock slap some people, and then have them shot for treason (It should be an amendment to the Constitution. Cock slapping and killing the stupid, specifically.) These people are quoting a book (The Old Testament) that was written at a time when Egyption pharoahs enslaved thousands to lug boulders up a hill. I think it’s time to move on from that time period’s human rights and ethical policies.
Next time I’m a juror, I’m going to bring in a stone slab ethched in cuneiform and consult it for sentencing advice.
You know those times you wish you could have gotten your dates right, could have taken back what you said, or wish there wasn’t such a thing as youtube? This woman does. She thought she was speaking at a hearing regarding sex education. She wasn’t. Cruel trick that evolution. 3.5 billion years of of lineage stops at her. It was a good run though.
Texas. We’ve written about it. We’ve laughed about it. Just like the Niceans (people from Nice, France) make the Parisians (people from…fuck that, you should know where they’re from) seem like a friendly, and altogether, warm bunch of people, Texas makes the rest of America seem logical and civilized.
Books are a common sight in classrooms around the nation, but the Bible is one book that is not. Come this fall, a Texas law says all public schools must offer information relating to the Bible in their curriculum.
What. the. fuck.
This has gained mixed reactions from East Texans. ”I think it is a good thing because a lot of kids don’t have that experience, and they already want to take prayer out of school as it is– and you see where our kids are ending up!” said Tyler resident Laura Tucker.
Laura, I wish Thomas Jefferson was here so you could bring this gripe to him and I wish I could be sitting there as he punched you in the face. You see where our kids are ending up? How about you try parenting to keep your idiot kid in order instead of relying on the power of prayer?
Dear Mexico: People don’t give you enough credit for throwing the war with Texas and leaving us a heaping pile of political and intellectual shit. Touche.
It seems that is the only qualifications to be hired as a stripper at the Cheetah Club in Corpus Christi, Texas. Nevermind that fact that you might be a 14 year old girl!
“She came (into the club) with 6-inch stiletto heels and a miniskirt and looked just like a model from a Miss America’s contest,” said attorney Alan Jaffe.
Miss America Contest? At least be honest and call out the right pageant: Miss Teen USA. And that’s the attorney talking, mind you. Always good when your lawyer uses the “but I thought” argument. In order to try and not make a big deal out the situation, the strip club will look to brush it under the r- wait…what?
A Texas strip club that hired a seventh-grader as an exotic dancer is now suing the teenager, saying she conned them into employing her.
Donnie Brasco? Conned people. Leo in The Departed? Conned people. But just because we see naked boobies and then do something out of our brain’s control, doesn’t mean we can call it “being conned”, gentlemen. And anyways:
It turns out the girl had been kidnapped, police say, and forced to work at the club. Leslie Campbell, 48, is accused of snatching the girl from her San Antonio home and taking her to Corpus Christi, where he allegedly sexually assaulted her for a week.
Of course, that’s also another way to define “being conned”. WTF.
Now I’m not a traffic cop but something tells me that tasing a 72-year-old great-grandmother is about as unnecessary as becoming blood brothers with Magic Johnson.
Feisty Kathryn Winkfein apparently so frightened the law-enforcement officer when she “used some profanity” and “got violent” that he felt it necessary to subdue her with a potentially dangerous jolt of electricity.
Officer, you’re such a pussy. Feisty? Was that the word you put in your report to validate the use of a taser? Cats are feisty. 2-year-olds are feisty. You should only use tasers on people who are an meth and are committing treason at that very instant. That should be about it.
I’m guessing that traffic stop went something like this:
72-Year-Old Lady: What seems to be the problem officer?
Cop: Ok that’s it, you feisty bitch!! (ZZZAAAAPPPPP)
Mr. Solis, that is NOT the definition of a warning shot
Back in the “news” is our favorite state. That one whose inhabitants reminds us most of prisoners on the island in the movie, No Escape. Where else but Texas would you read something like this?
A man on trial for murder testified Thursday he only meant to scare his victim into returning his phone, but instead shot and killed the man.
Hmm. That is quite a large gap between intent and reality. That’s like trying to touch a girl’s boob while kissing her, and ending up with your penis in her ass.
“About that time, I got angry, I lost control,” Solis said. “I mean I lost, I was… I was frustrated.”
I would say that is a petite understatement. Frustration is expected when someone punches you in the face twice and steals your cell phone (I mean Anthony Ramos DID bitch you) but alas, ’tis just a cell phone. Taking the Scarface-ian line of reacting to frustration is another thing.
Solis admitting to firing shots at the car, but said he only intended to scare Ramos into returning his phone.
Mr. Solis, warning shots go across the bow, not into it.
We here at Browtf understand that we spend a good bit of time talking about the absolute absurdity that is Texas. We really wouldn’t do it if things like this happened other places. (We still might, Texas is fucking weird)
“People who have to be rescued by emergency workers after ignoring mandatory evacuation orders in the face of an oncoming hurricane will have to foot the bill for the rescue under a bill passed Friday by the Texas Senate.”
I’m sorry, but no other state would need to pass legislation like this. Texan’s now officially need laws telling them to leave if a deadly storm is coming to kill them. A helicopter costs $4,400 an HOUR. Where the fuck are Jim-Bob and Bobby-Jo gonna get $4,500? They were too stupid to leave with an oncoming hurricane. I would like to propose a new law: If you choose to stay with Hurricane Katrina on its way, then, by law, you’re fucked. Good luck with the swim, please see your nearest police precinct for a set of rubber ducky floaties. WTF!
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