by Commodore on October 8, 2010
It's like that
Is she related to Kurt Angle’s WWE character? And who allowed her form thoughts on her own, let alone run for U.S. Senate…nay, be in a dead heat with Harry Reid for his Senate seat?
After the Sharron Angle was asked about Muslims angling to take over the country, she said, “My thoughts are these, first of all, Dearborn, Michigan, and Frankford, Texas are on American soil, and under constitutional law. Not Sharia law. And I don’t know how that happened in the United States,” she said. “It seems to me there is something fundamentally wrong with allowing a foreign system of law to even take hold in any municipality or government situation in our United States.”
Huh? Lady, are you drunk? Do you have any idea what you’re talking about? Did you fall asleep watching the news after watching The Crazies allowing your brain to combine zombies, public executions, Muslims and foreign systems of law taking hold? And who’s the scholar who asked this ridiculous question? Muslims aren’t taking over the country, idiocy is.
I thought you had to be somewhat prestigious and worldly to run for high office in the United States. Now you just need to be a bigot, a racist, an extremist or harbor any other half-wit, out-of-left-field belief. Well, that or be kind of hot. People will always vote for someone kind of hot. Otherwise, Sarah Palin would have had a hard time putting a resume together to be an assistant to the regional manager of “Rufus’s Tires, Oil Change and Slim Jims”.
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by Commodore on September 10, 2010
And by “she” I mean Christine O’Donnell, the woman running for Senate in Delaware who is being backed by your gal pal, Sarah Palin.
O’Donnell is much further to the right, and espouses some ideas that are out of the mainstream (she has spoken out against masturbation and has claimed she’s being followed).
Does she realize that the world would look like a burned down wasteland if nobody masturbated? Look lady, either men and women get to suppress their sexual urges with masturbation, or you’re going to have all hell breaking loose.
“The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery. So you can’t masturbate without lust. The reason that you don’t tell [people] that masturbation is the answer to AIDS and all these other problems that come with sex outside of marriage is because again it is not addressing the issue,” she extrapolated. “You’re just gonna create somebody who is, I was gonna say, toying with his sexuality. Pardon the pun.”
Yeah, thanks for clarification on that pun, because your pun is the biggest issue sane people have with you, Christine. I am guessing that folks are more conerned with your extrapolation abilities.
Just a reminder, she’s running for state senate.
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by Commodore on May 18, 2010
This would be more productive
I blame you, society. Every single one of you U.S. Weekly reading, E! News watching, pop news eating people. Bristol Palin should not be paid to speak if the decision for a speaker was between her and one of the jive speaking gentleman in Airplane! But alas, my bell curve theory holds ture. It’s easy to be rich if you’re incredibly brilliant (Steve Jobs, Kurt Angle) or incredibly worthless (Bristol Palin, Glenn Beck).
Bristol Palin has signed with a speakers bureau for a tidy sum of between $15,000 and $30,000 per speech.
Don’t adjust your screens. No, I didn’t fall asleep on the number ‘0′ on my keyboard. No, that comma shouldn’t be a period. Yes, that is in U.S. dollars. Let’s say you work 2,000 hours in a year and get paid $85,000. Then let’s say Bristol speaks for an hour and makes $30,000. Now let’s just say that I threw up in my mouth a little bit.
Her teen pregnancy and the birth of her son Tripp, resulted in millions of Americans discussing the issues surrounding teen pregnancy. Bristol has since gone on to become a Teen Ambassador for the Candie’s Foundation, and speaks about pregnancy prevention, abstinence, faith and life.
Yes, who else to teach us about pregnancy prevention, abstinence, faith and life other than a spoon fed teenage girl who got knocked up by a gay dude? Yeah, let’s pay her boat loads of money. You fucking people are retarded. No, that wasn’t a knock at you, Trig.
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by Commodore on April 14, 2010
Brilliant
I have said it more than once. In today’s world, to get rich you have to be incredibly brilliant or incredibly stupid. The Steve Jobs’ and the Richard Branson’s being the former and the Kate Gosselin’s and the Snooki’s of the world being the latter. The world loves the ends of the bell curves. We can’t live without ‘em. I wish we could do without the stupid.
Since leaving office at the end of July 2009, Sarah Palin has brought in at least 100 times her old salary – a haul now estimated at more than $12 million — through television and book deals and a heavy schedule of speaking appearances worth five and six figures.
Yeah that’s right. Sarah Palin makes $11.9 million (I’m rounding to the nearest decimal) more than you. The woman is more brain dead than Terry Shiavo. Her arguments are so circular and so devoid of thought that she will ususally discredit them on her own by just simply continuing her argument. But we love our circus freaks. What’s weird about Palin is that she’s not making money for being an idiot (Reality TV, appearances at clubs), she’s making money because people are paying her to hear her speak or read her insights!
$12 million/yr for the woman who’s VP selection instantly guaranteed the GOP’s loss in the presidential election. Nothing pays quite like inanity, idiocy and failure.
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by Commodore on August 17, 2009
Levi, let's take a test.
If ever there was someone the world doesn’t need to read about again, it’s Levi Johnston, but thank God there’s US Weekly to the rescue! Usually when someone is a respectful person, he is said to have “a good head on his shoulders.” Based on this interview, I am not even sure Levi Johnston has a head on his shoulders.
Levi Johnston says he may pose nude if the price is right. “It depends on the money, man,” says Johnston, an aspiring actor and model.
Huh? There are so many things in that last quote that make my head want to explode like a Femm Bot. Pose nude? Actor? Model? Jesus Christ. When did this fucking happen?
“It’s gotta be right for that,” continues Johnston in an interview with Bravo’s Andy Cohen via Skype from his hometown of Wasilla, Alaska.
A Skype interview with Bravo is to interviews as an ostrich is to “birds I wish I could be”.
But as far as “cougars” go, Sarah Palin is “not my favorite, no,” he says.
Levi. She’s your kid’s grandmother. I hope she’s not your favorite. In this photo dictionary I am looking at, I am surprised that I don’t find a photo of Levi Johnston for the entry, “tact”.
Now that Palin has stepped down as governor, Johnson quips he’s “thinking about” making a run for her former position. “Maybe one day. It sounds like a lot of fun,” Johnston says before signing off to go sheep hunting.
Earth to Levi, you would pose nude for cash and you just basically said that you would bang your kid’s grandma. I am not sure you are socially responsible to mop up spills in aisle 6. Plus, anyone who thought being a governor of a state would be fun, right before he stated his wishes to discharge a firearm at a virtually immobile peaceful animal, used to have to stand in the corner and miss nap time while the school notified his parents that their kid might be retarded.
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by Commodore on July 27, 2009
Shhhhhh.
Dear Mrs. Palin,
The only reason anyone originally gave a shit about you is because you are a MILF from Alaska. We hadn’t seen that porn scenario yet. Then you started talking. Now, nobody cares. But you’re still talking. Please stop.
The end.
Ok, that was my letter but seriously, WTF is this:
“By the way, Hollywood needs to know: We eat, therefore we hunt.”
This was in response to an Ashley Judd commercial that had a wee problem with hunting wolves with assault rifles from helicopters. I knew Alaska was bum fuck but I didn’t know they ate wolves. I don’t think Cro-Magnon men ate wolves. It was too uncivilized for them.
“Some still are choosing not to hear why I’m charting a new course to advance this state,” she said, adding that “it should be so obvious to you. It is because I love Alaska this much, sir, that I feel that it is my duty to avoid the unproductive, typical, politics-as-usual, lame-duck session in one’s last year in office.”
So, you’re quitting. I should use the Palin Theory in bed. “Listen, the reason why I feel the need to run out of here 3 seconds after cumming is because I love you so much, sweety, that I feel that it is my duty to avoid the unproductive, typical, boredom-as-usual, lame-ass Talk & Cuddle session in one’s last minutes awake.”
Before addressing the crowd in a park with an ersatz frontier main street and encircled by a choo-choo train that was once called “Alaskaland,” Palin spent hours under a tent serving hot dogs and greeting admirers.
This sounds like a Tim Burton movie. What the hell exactly goes on in Alaska?
Two Texans holding up pro-Palin signs said they drove on Harley-Davidsons some 4,000 miles north from the Ft. Worth area to check out Alaska and see the woman they want to be the next president.
[(2Fort Worth + Harleys)4000] x Sarah Palin 4 President = Hilarity.
(FYI, Sarah if you’re reading this, don’t let my teasing let you think that I wouldn’t love banging you. That is so not the case. Just wanted to be sure I’m clear. We could always do it when your husband was out snowmobiling for caribou carcasses that he mowed down with a gatling gun. K, thanks.)
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by Big Lou Al Timber on June 4, 2009
SHUT. YOUR. FACE.
This bitch just needs to go.
Just because you have a journalism degree and MILF-y body doesn’t qualify you to preach to ANYBODY about politics and what should and should not happen. Are you fucking kidding me?
“Since when can you get out of huge national debt by creating trillions of dollars of new debt?”
I can answer that question for you….Since the day GW decided we should fight a war that cost us trillions of dollars and hasn’t accomplished ANYTHING.
“We need to be aware of the creation of a fearful population, and fearful lawmakers, being led to believe that big government is the answer, to bail out the private sector, because then government gets to get in there and control it,” she said. “And mark my words, this is going to be next, I fear, bail out next debt-ridden states. Then government gets to get in there and control the people.”
Wait what? English mother fucker, DO YOU SPEAK IT?! You make no sense lady. And remember, it’s the Republican party that survives on scare tactics and a controlled state. See these examples: 9/11, Muslims, Iraq, religion.
And remember this as well. You live in Alaska. Alaska. That makes you the equivalent of Luke Walton. So eat a dick, shovel some salt on your porch, fist fight a polar bear and SHUT THE FUCK UP.
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by Commodore on April 9, 2009
Palin/Johnston family hero
Levi Johnston is upset because people think he and his family are white trash. The Palin’s are convinced that they are not white trash. Well then how do you explain a sentence like this:
But a war of words is escalating between her [Palin's]camp and Levi Johnston, the father of Tripp, the baby Palin’s teenage daughter, Bristol, had in late December.
That sentence couldn’t infer more “white trashedness” if it was a styrofoam cup on top of a landfill. And if that isn’t enough, Levi has a sister named, Mercede. Mercede? It’s a Mercedes. Now you know why your stripper friends, Lexus, and Candy make fun of you so much, Mercede.
(sigh)
Why is any of this even being reported on? Who fucking cares????? Sarah Palin clearly likes guns and reproducing when her body might not be ready for it and it seems as if her daughter has at least one of those traits. End of story.
For the good of the country, we should have never known that Sarah Palin even existed, let alone hearing where her granddaughter’s bastard father slept 5 months ago. Honestly. WTF.
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by Big Lou Al Timber on March 11, 2009
Don't Touch Me Bitch
ESPN Palin and her douche bag boyfriend Levi have called it quits. Let’s see, FUCKING TOLD YOU SO! Remember when this brilliant sound bytes was disposed upon us by Sarah the GILF:
”Bristol and the young man she will marry are going to realize very quickly the difficulties of raising a child, which is why they will have the love and support of our entire family,”
You sure about that?
Guess again Palin, guess the fuck again. Turns out your slut of a daughter and her shitty kid “Trip” are going to be living with you for a while. Hopefully she won’t interfere with your hockey games.
Thank god you chose to keep the child, kid’s probably going to grow up to be a star, just like daddy.
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