Ron Manescu

Guys, let it slide.

In this week’s example of “Calm Down“:

A fight that started as an argument over the tying of a girl’s shoelaces Sunday night ended with one man being slashed several times in the arm and another man going to jail, Allentown police said.

*blink..blink*

Paris Cooks told police that they had a disagreement over the tying of Cooks’ daughter’s shoelaces, which led to an argument and then a fight, Manescu said. During the fight, Eric Thomas pulled a pocketknife and slashed Cooks repeatedly because he felt disrespected, he said.

Wow. Respeck! Don’t you ever disrespect me when tying your own daughter’s shoelaces, son! But in all seriousness, what on earth could the argument have been about? The only thing that makes sense is that Eric Thomas suggested she tie her shoes using the two bunny ears method. Everyone knows that is far inferior to the over-around-and through the one bunny ear method.

But even so, fellas..FELLAS! This is Allentown, Pennsylvania for Chrissake! There shouldn’t be knife fights going on for ANY reasons! Unless Eric Thomas was suggesting that Cooks’ daughter tie her left and right shoelaces together while they were in they middle of a war zone, I think everyone just needs to take a breath and calm down and go their separate ways.

The two men live together, Manescu said.

I’m speechless.