by Commodore on November 10, 2010
Don't eat that
Ah to be young and on mushrooms.
A naked South Carolina man was arrested Saturday evening after he allegedly burglarized a home and later attacked officers responding to a call about the break-in. Noah Smith, 24, slapped, kicked, and tried to bite Oconee County Sheriff’s Office deputies, who responded by using pepper spray, a Taser, and their batons to subdue the suspect.
Ok, what’s new? Happens in South Carolina every 10 minutes.
Deputies noted that Smith, pictured in the above mug shot, later told doctors that he could not recall fighting with law enforcement officers. It was in the hospital emergency room where a “physician noticed a mouse…hanging from male subjects rectum. X-rays shown part of the mouse was lodged in the male subjects rectum.”
Daaaaamn. Parents are supposed to let their kids be anything they want in life. I’m guessing they mean anything but the guy shoving small mammals up his ass and fighting cops stark naked. When this physician noticed the mouse hanging from this man’s butthole, is there any doubt that his first words were, “What the fuh-…” Does the hospital staff play Rochambeau to decide who gets to yank the thing out? These are things I’m wondering about this morning.
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by Commodore on May 4, 2010
A normal prank
Guys get drunk. Guys do stupid things. Sadly, these two events are not mutually exclusive. Like a nuclear reaction, their presence around each other cause things to propogate out of hand. This is a decent example of when “men + drinking” goes bad.
A chef, was reportedly taken to a Sichuan hospital complaining of abdominal pain, dehydration and a great deal of anal bleeding.
Never a great start to a “So there I was…” story.
Doctors were mystified as to the cause, and obtained permission from his family to undertake an exploratory laparotomy. Cutting open his innards, they discovered a 50cm long Asian swamp eel lodged in his rectum. Though dead, the eel had apparently already wrought havoc on his innards, biting its way through his intestines prior to dying. Internal bleeding and infection rapidly set in. He was reported to have eaten a lot of eel the previous day, but otherwise doctors had no idea how the creature had got there. His condition quickly worsened. He lingered for 10 days in intensive care but eventually succumbed to the injuries and sepsis.
That sound you just heard wasJesus Christ, Joan of Arc and William Wallace saying, “Damn. That sucks.”
The likely cause was eventually established – he had apparently been drinking with friends, and had passed out. His friends had decided it would be amusing to insert a live eel into his anus whilst he was comatose.
That’s right. They thought it would be amusing to shove a live eel up his asshole that then ate his insides. Ha fucking ha, boys.
New rule, anytime a drunk guy says, “I got an idea”, people are allowed to punch him in the face.
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