by Commodore on August 31, 2010
Maybe your kids are bored with you
There’s one thought of parenthood that always spooks me. When I’m tired and want to lay on the couch and watch TV or read a book, I apparently have to play a game with my children that intellectually or physically I am far superior than them at. This seems awfully annoying. While I can only theorize, these parents tell it like it is.
30% of mothers and fathers think playing with their offspring is boring, the survey commissioned by Disneyland Paris found.
Of course it’s boring, you idiots! You are playing a game fit for humans aged 2-4. It’s like Agent Smith fighting someone who hasn’t freed his mind yet. But these are your kids that you decided to have. You had to know that they would be 3 before they would be 18.
This sense of ennui is actually picked up by 16% of youngsters, while 55% of children want more quality fun time with their parents.
In the immortal words of Chris Rock, go take care of your kids so they don’t rob me in 10 years.
No Comments
by Commodore on June 23, 2010
Stop thinking, start doing
Why is a question about Jesus Christ in a poll about the future, anyway? Can we stick with reality, facts and plausible solutions to the world’s problems? No God upon high is going to come down from the sky and solve our problems. Read the Old Testament. He does not appreciate disrespect for fellow man or the earth we live on. Frankly, he’d probably rather see us rot, than come save us. And yet…
More than 40 per cent of Americans believe Jesus Christ will return to Earth by 2050, according to a poll.
Forty percent?! I’m speechless. What is the purpose of this poll? Why are we giving average people – with no basis of expertise on particular subjects – the chance to voice their opinions. For instance,
By mid century, 66% say artificial limbs will work better than real ones.
What?!? Who cares what these people think?! It’s inconsequential. It would be like asking what the color of the next nebula that NASA discovers will be. Where do these people get their information? How about we ask doctors and material scientists this question and take the microphone away from the fat guy wolfing down hotdogs.
31 per cent expect the planet will be struck by an asteroid
You hear that, space rocks? Americans fucking expect it. Don’t let us down.
No Comments
by Commodore on February 9, 2010
Everyone else is doing it
What’s better than a mind boggling story about religion? Well, one that tells us about a completely pointless poll that was taken and then tries to analyze its results using theory, thought, and deduction, of course!
Rather than spending Valentine’s Day with their partner, one-fifth of adults would prefer to be with their pet, although the French still came top for romance, according to a joint global poll by Reuters/Ipsos.
I deduce that those 20% of people are 100% cheating on their mates.
John Wright, senior vice president of Ipsos, said 25 percent of people aged under 35 opted for their pet over their partner compared to 18 percent of those aged 35-54 and 14 percent of people aged 55 plus. Men and women were evenly split over the question. Those choosing pets over people were also more likely to be those who have a lower income (24 percent) compared to those who were middle or higher income earners (20 percent).
That’s because people under 35 are have a better chance and more energy to cheat on their spouses than a 70 year-old does. Also, younger people are full of raging hormones, get in dramatic fights all the time and would more than likely say something like, “I would rather spend the night with Sheeshee than hang out with you, you jerk!”
And once you hit 55+, you kind of feel like you’re stuck with what you’ve got and deciding to not spend time with them on Valentine’s Day is more of a hassle than anything else. In fact, most of the older people are so numb to their relationship that they’re not even sure it’s Valentine’s Day.
On a country-by-country basis, residents of Turkey were the most likely, at 49 percent, to choose their pet over their spouse or partner.
Wait. Ankara isn’t the city of love anymore? When did this happen?
No Comments
![[del.icio.us]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/delicious.png)
![[Digg]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/digg.png)
![[Facebook]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/facebook.png)
![[Reddit]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/reddit.png)
![[StumbleUpon]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/stumbleupon.png)
![[Technorati]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/technorati.png)
![[Twitter]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/twitter.png)
