You may have beaten Bald Bull, but I raped him!
Mike Tyson may be the greatest living contradiction. I went and saw the new movie Tyson recently; you can read today’s review of it here. I had the opportunity to talk to him about a few things he says throughout the movie and his life. . .
“Lennox Lewis, I’m coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I’m just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!”
OK, you’re a religious man, good good, although I’m pretty sure The Koran doesn’t explicitly condone the taking of one’s heart whilst eating one’s offspring. Let’s move on…
“I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him [Lennox Lewis]. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children.”
Mike, Mike, Mike, which is it?? Do you want to rip his stomach out and eat his children, or rip his heart out and eat his children? Other than his indecisiveness, I would say everything else is fine.
“Inhale the positivity, exhale the negativity.”
Well that sound’s logical, granted it’s a quote from your cameo in Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, but still.
“I’ll never be happy. I believe I’ll die alone. I would want it that way. I’ve been a loner all my life with my secrets and my pain. I’m really lost, but I’m trying to find myself. I’m really a sad, pathetic case. My whole life has been a waste. I’ve been a failure. I just want to escape.”
Whoa, deep. Go on. . .
“Everybody says they believe in God, but they don’t do God’s work. Everybody counteracts what God is really about.”
Yeah, right on Mike, I feel you, what else you got.?
“Another thing that freaks me out is time. Time is like a book. You have a beginning, a middle and an end. It’s just a cycle.”
Mike, you are blowing my mind man. You have really been given a bad rap, huh?
“I’m not Mother Teresa, but I’m not Charles Manson, either. My biggest weakness is my sensitivity. I am too sensitive a person.”
Mike, I’m tearing up. That’s beautiful, and you have touched my heart with your words.
“I’m gonna fuck you till you love me, faggot!”
Um, excuse me Mike, are you serious? Because if you are, that is the single scariest thing I have ever heard in my life. I’m sure you meant something different, like “I’m gonna love you till we are bestest friends” right?
“I’m gonna fuck you till you love me, faggot!”
I do NOT remember Mother Theresa ever saying that, hell; I don’t even think Charles Manson said shit like that. My butthole just sent me an email it reads as follows: RUN YOU DUMB MOTHER FUCKER, RUN!!!
