by Commodore on December 9, 2010
Can't we just drink, already?
Pennsylvania is the home of Philadelphia. Philly is quite important in the history of this country, but Pennsylvania is filled with a lot of other cities that are home to some nut jobs. Nut jobs who thought this was a good idea.
For instance, it’s illegal to sell alcohol in grocery stores in Pennsylvania, but it’s not illegal to install a vending machine that dispenses wine: as long as the user is asked to take a breathalyzer test, swipe their state issued ID or Driver License, and then show their mug to a state official sitting somewhere in Harrisburg, who is keeping an eye on the proceedings via CCTV.
Huh? So it’s legal to have an open container in a grocery store too? Am I supposed to be drinking the wine in the store or am I bringing in some sort of container + cork deal? I don’t even know what the legal limit is but wouldn’t one glass of wine put you over it?
A friend told me that you can practically buy a gun in PA if you have money and a a hand to hold the thing as you walk out of the store. PA? Oy vey!
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by Big Lou Al Timber on October 9, 2009
Nice strap you got there...
Here’s something surprising: “Meleanie Hain, 31, made national headlines last year as the mother who carried a loaded, holstered handgun to her 5-year-old daughter’s soccer game.”
Here’s something NOT surprising: “A Pennsylvania soccer mom was chatting with a friend via webcam when she was shot to death by her husband, who then went upstairs and shot himself, police said Friday.”
That’s right, the same bitch that thought it was a good idea to carry her loaded glock to her 5 year olds soccer game (cause naturally that’s where shit goes down) wound up getting shot and killed by her psycho husband. Ironic? Maybe. Strange? Fuck No.
I’m fairly certain this woman deserved it, after all, she was sitting at her computer video chatting with her “friend” when it happend. Her “friend” may also go by, “other dude she was fucking” or “other crazy motherfucker that thinks carrying guns to children’s sporting events is a good idea.”
My guess is it’s the latter, I mean take a look at her. That’s just bad. Oh well, good riddance lady, we won’t miss you at all.
WTF!
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by Big Lou Al Timber on October 5, 2009
meet my pet bear "charlie"
I love dogs. I like cats, hampsters, rabbits, guinea pigs, and babies. All make good pets. Occasionally I can stand a bird and I think a monkey would be bad ass. Here is what you don’t keep as a pet:
“A 37-year-old Pennsylvania woman died Sunday after being mauled by her pet black bear, authorities said. Kelly Ann Walz was attacked when she entered the bear’s cage to feed the 350-pound animal and clean its cage, according to Pennsylvania State Police. The bear lived in a 15-by-15-foot steel and concrete enclosure on Walz’s property in Ross Township.”
I mean, come on lady. A 350 pound bear? Tell me what you planned on doing with that thing, other then look at it sitting in its 15 by 15 foot cage. That’s not exactly the kind of thing you curl up with when you watch a movie. You can’t take it for walks, you can’t play fetch with it, you can’t even take your children within 10 fucking feet of it.
And now it killed you.
Know what? If it wasn’t the bear, it probably would have been the Bengal tiger or African lion. Yup, the fucking TIGER or LION you had in your backyard!!
Who wrote the rules here for Ross Township, Michael Jackson? At what point is it ok for somebody to have a bear, lion, and tiger, all chillin out in the backyard? That’s simply ridiculous.
WTF!
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by Big Lou Al Timber on April 22, 2009
You text me back you maggot!
When I saw this article the first thing I thought about was my 15 year old sister, because naturally “texting” back and forth with somebody all day is the favorite pastime of young little hussies. And ONLY young girls would do something this fucking ridiculous.
Imagine my surprise as I read on and discovered that douche bag #1 and douche bag #2 were 29 and 30 year old men! MEN texting each other HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF TIMES IN A MONTH. What the fuck guys, get a damn life!?!
“Two central Pennsylvania friends spent most of March in a text-messaging record attempt, exchanging a thumbs-flying total of 217,000.”
Go for a run, throw a football, watch HBO, use your damn dicks for crying out loud! No, not on each other…try again.
“Most were either short phrases or one word, ‘LOL’ or ‘Hello,’ things like that, with tons and tons of repeats,” said Andes, reached by phone.”
Stop it, stop it right there you fucking fairies. You deserve the $26,000 bill you received and you should pay it simply for being a disgrace to humankind. I despise people like you with your fat fucking thumbs and far too much free time on your hands.
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