Pawn

Where this news story should have gone

I wonder what would have to happen in the course of human history for a reporter to see something and say, “Ah, no one needs to know about that.” I am still waiting for that moment. I thought this story provided a perfect storm of literary abandonment, but lo and behold…

Police arrested two men after they stole a lizard from an animal hospital and tried to pawn it for alcohol.

That’s the essence of the story. Yes we later learn that the 44-year-old and the 18-year old tried to pawn it at not one but TWO (!) liquor stores, however I don’t think that part is an “Ohhh, what’s in the box?!” type story moment that you just needed to be privy to.

The lizard, known as “Big,” is back at the veterinary clinic.

I can sleep now.