by Commodore on August 31, 2010
Maybe your kids are bored with you
There’s one thought of parenthood that always spooks me. When I’m tired and want to lay on the couch and watch TV or read a book, I apparently have to play a game with my children that intellectually or physically I am far superior than them at. This seems awfully annoying. While I can only theorize, these parents tell it like it is.
30% of mothers and fathers think playing with their offspring is boring, the survey commissioned by Disneyland Paris found.
Of course it’s boring, you idiots! You are playing a game fit for humans aged 2-4. It’s like Agent Smith fighting someone who hasn’t freed his mind yet. But these are your kids that you decided to have. You had to know that they would be 3 before they would be 18.
This sense of ennui is actually picked up by 16% of youngsters, while 55% of children want more quality fun time with their parents.
In the immortal words of Chris Rock, go take care of your kids so they don’t rob me in 10 years.
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by Commodore on March 1, 2010
It's just a beer
While the rest of the first world focuses on educating their young adults and throwing them in real world scenarios as soon as possible, the United States of Coddling is embarking on a different approach to get our young adults ready for the realities of life and making decisions for one’s self in a complex global world.
This semester, Virginia Tech began notifying parents when their under-21 students are found guilty of even minor alcohol violations such as getting caught with a beer in a dorm room.
You don’t get a call if your son/daughter joins the military to fight for his country. You don’t get a call if your son/daughter votes for an imbecile to lead the country, but thankfully, you get a call if they are having a beer in their dorm room. I guess they should call home when he jaywalks too.
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by Commodore on August 23, 2009
Eff this world.
This story might be the most mind boggling thing I’ve ever read. I just love it when religion is used to bring joy to people’s lives and make us truly understand what the word tolerance can mean. It’s magic!
After six years of childless marriage, John and Cynthia Burke of Newark decided to adopt a baby boy through a state agency. Since the Burkes were young, scandal-free and solvent, they had no trouble with the New Jersey Bureau of Children’s Services,
Seems fine. What could be the problem?
—until investigators came to the line on the application that asked for the couple’s religious affiliation.
Oh here we go.
John Burke, an atheist, and his wife, a pantheist, had left the line blank…In an extraordinary decision, Judge Camarata denied the Burkes’ right to the child because of their lack of belief in a Supreme Being. Despite Eleanor Katherine’s tender years, he continued, “the child should have the freedom to worship as she sees fit, and not be influenced by prospective parents who do not believe in a Supreme Being.”
What? Read that last sentence again and tell me if your brain doesn’t want to just explode? Judge Camarata, atheists don’t raise their kids in a solitary confinement cell while sliding them plates of goop under the door while having them wipe their ass with pictures of God. Atheists are tolerant people.
Judge Camarata ordered the parents to send David’s sister back to the New Jersey adoption agency. Two weeks ago, aided by the American Civil Liberties Union, the Burkes appealed directly to the New Jersey Supreme Court, which agreed to hear the case. If they fail in their appeal, Eleanor Katherine may have to leave the only family she has ever known and await adoption by another couple whose religious convictions satisfy the State of New Jersey.
In related news: God quits.
You know what we need in this country, we should have the church and state separate by law! I bet that would finally fix all this religious fanatical nonsense and a child can be raised by loving parents, no matter what their belief or creed. Let’s start a petition for that.
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by Commodore on February 27, 2009
To be fair, look where it's located.
I’ll get right to it. She’s from Ohio. The state that always controls the presidential election. This woman’s vote is worth the same as yours. She was breast feeding while driving…What the fuck. Anyone ready for the 6th mass extinction in the planet’s history?
This woman makes the in vitro welfare mom look as responsible as Brad Pitt’s mom in The Curious Case.
This, unfortunately, is the curious case of an I-guarantee-you-she-voted-for-George-Bush-twice…until-I-found-out-she-wasn’t-white mom, with the brain of a cockatoo, the foresight of permanent rewind, and the hindsight of short term memory loss. Let’s dive in here:
Police say Genine Comptom could have injured her child and others because she was breast feeding and talking on the cell phone while driving the vehicle.
Police also say that shooting people in the face can injure them too.
Compton told News Center 7 Friday, “If my child’s hungry, I’m going to feed it.”
Ms. Compton takes the upper hand on the police for the most underachieving statement ever.
Police say it is against the law to drive with a child in your lap. They say there is not only the risk of a crash, but deployment of the airbag.
(blink blink) Thank you Captain Obvious. You’re one up on Ms. Compton now. Ms. Compton? Care to come back with an argument ceasing actual human thought as well?
Compton said she will take the advice of the officers into consideration, but she may breast feed her baby while driving in the future if she feels that is is necessary.
I quit.
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