Pakistan

Just like Kim, some names are just unlucky

It doesn’t happen often. I’m usually scouring the internet for things that make me shake my head and deem myself better than the rest of humanity but today is different. If this doesn’t make you giggle your ass off, well…you’re probably Saudi and a devout Muslim and in that case, cool out. Please don’t kill me. I just report the facts.

A high level Pakistani diplomat has been rejected as Ambassador of Saudi Arabia because his name, Akbar Zib, equates to “Biggest Dick” in Arabic. Saudi officials, apparently overwhelmed by the idea of the name, put their foot down and gave the idea of his being posted there, the kibosh.

Kibosh = heave-ho for those scratching their heads. But seriously, how funny is this?!? Would the U.S ever reject an ambassador if their name was: Mike Oxhewge? Or Justin Cider? or Adolf Oliver Nipples? This is hysterical! Well I’m sure that guy will be posted in another Arab coun- I’m sorry….Oh dear.

Pakistan had previously floated Zeb’s name as ambassador to the United Arab Emirates and Bahrain, only to have him rejected for the same reason.

Pakistan, cut the shit! Give this guy a post in a non-Arab speaking country for Pete’s sake. Well, for the biggest dick’s sake, actually.

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And Eeeeeeeeevil!!!

Let’s say you could put Cobra Commander, Skeletor and Megatron in a room with Osama Bin Laden. Let’s say they were trying to come up with a name for their new evil lair. Would it go like this?

Skeletor: We need something eeeeeevil (to be said like a talking skeleton).

Megatron: What about Mega-Cybertron?

Bin Laden: That’s douchey. I would want to blow that up. . . . get it? Get it??? That’s what I dooooo.. . high five. . . anyone? No one? . . .Ok.

Cobra Commander: I’ve got it. We should call it Cleveland! No, I’m kidding, but seriously, Cleveland sucks. Other than that, I’ve got nothing.

Bid Laden: OK, hear me out. I think I have something that sounds truly terrifying. It combines everyone’s fear of Islam and the catchiness of a super villain’s den. You guys ready???? You guys are gonna freak. Megatron’s gonna oil in his pants. . . . . . ISLAMABAD!!

Group: YEEEEEEEEESSSS

Cobra Commander: That is the most evil sounding place I have ever heard, and my name literally means that I command deadly snakes. I’ll tell you where those snakes would be scared to go: Islamabad.

Skeletor: When He-Man hears this, he’s gonna cry like a He-Bitch!

Bin Laden: That doesn’t even make sense, this is why I train mindless kids. Honestly, when was the last time any of your henchmen even died? Islamabad it is, tell your minions. Viva La Evil.

Group: ISLAMABAD. . . . YEAAAAAAH

fin

Note to Pakistan: Your capital city’s name sounds like the most evil place on earth. It’s terrifying.

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