Posts tagged as:

Oregon

The Most Ridiculous Thing…

by Big Lou Al Timber on September 4, 2009

…is this guy, chucking a right hook after getting his ass handed to him on a blue field.  Sorry future Heisman hopeful, you just fucked yourself.

  • Share/Bookmark
No Comments

Teenagers Are Idiots

by Commodore on April 11, 2009

What's not to trust???

What's not to trust???

Goodness me!  Is that Cynthia Nixon’s girlfriend?  I would rather be seduced to a cookout by Hannibal Lecter.

I realize that you are quite impressionable when you are in high school and that life can be quite boring without weed and alcohol  but for shit’s sake kids, have some self-control!  She was not selling you Helen of Troy covered in heroin lollipops.  It’s just weed and booze!  I’ve had harder times finding a good avocado.

Boys and girls, why are you just not banging each other and getting your booze from bootleggers and your weed from normal drug dealers? A good rule of thumb is to stay away from wheel chair bound monsters who look like Ursula from The Little Mermaid.

  • Share/Bookmark
No Comments

No More “Pulling Out” in Oregon, I Guess…

by Commodore on April 8, 2009

We did it!

We did it!

I believe that what Oregon is really trying to say is “no money shots allowed”.  WTF!  I mean, if it is a second degree sex abuse crime to propel semen at someone, what am I supposed to do if a girl says something like, “I want it all over my tits” or worse, “blow it in my face”???  Look lady, ejaculating all over you is oodles of fun but I am not interested in doing any jail time for it!  No thanks.

But this makes no sense.  Oregon is a progressive state.  Hmmmm.  Mayyyyyyybe what they are indirectly getting at is that all women should either be on the pill or they have to swallow???  That’s it!  That’s Beeeee-rilliant!  Way to go Oregon lawmakers!  You sneaky SOB’s!  We did it!!!!

Hm, what’s that Ms. Senator?  Wearing a condom would work too?  Huh?  Shooting it on my stomach or the sheets works too?  Wait, what?!?!? 

Damn it!  Somebody shut that lady up!!  Somebody filibuster those loopholes!!  Somebody do something!!!!

  • Share/Bookmark
No Comments