This little guy fires me the F up! He’s 9 years old, his balls already hang lower then mine AND he’s talking about playing in the NBA. He’s N.I.N.E.
“Dakota Simms seems on track for greatness and is hoping the NBA changes its age requirement so he, like Dawkins, can go directly to the NBA from high school.”
Forget prom, who cares about P.E. and feeling akward when you get a boner in tiny gym shorts. Screw that freshman girl that wanted to blow you after you drop 56 points on your rival high school. Dakota wants the big cheese.
“That form is great. There’s some guys in the NBA who don’t have form like that,” said ex-Atlanta Hawk and NBA Hall of Famer Dominique Wilkins after he and the youngster met at Philips Arena’s practice court for a friendly three-point shooting contest from the NBA arc.”
Did you catch that…? The Human Highlight Film himself is already shooting 3 pointers with this little stud.
Let’s get one thing clear, in most cases we at BroWTF like to point out absurdity, usually on the negative side. I mean, it’s so much more fun to say, “haha, look at that fag.” But sometimes we just have to come clean about the fact that we’ve encountered somebody better then us. Dakota Simms folks….is better then us. He’s better then you, and he’s nine fucking years old. NINE!
That's supposed to say, "I used to write for the Associated Press."
Apparently the Associated Press is letting anybody submit articles to be published nationally now, because this obviously came from a reclusive 12 year old girl in Wyoming.
Got it? He’s upset. He’s as fucking sad as a cripple in a footrace.
“Van Gundy said Monday he was bothered by the number of times Cleveland guard Mo Williams and Wallace dropped to the floor in Game 3 of the Eastern Conference finals. He said the pair fell down more times than a baby.”
Ohhhhh, oh no he di-ent! Fell down more times than a baby!?! Holy Toledo Batman! But wait, it gets better:
“Wallace is one of the NBA’s most intimidating players. When asked about Van Gundy’s comments during Tuesday’s shootaround before Game 4, Wallace said Van Gundy should shut up, adding an expletive for emphasis.”
I have read more exciting literature in the children’s section at Boarders. A mormon kid in Utah could drum up a more lively sentence.
How about: “Wallace, one of the baddest motherfuckers ever to walk the planet, so badass he BRAIDS HIS FUCKING CHIN BEARD, told fat, floppy Stan Van Gundy to shut his fucking mouth before he filled it with his drainage-pipe sized dick.”
“Van Gundy made the same claims about Shaquille O’Neal this season, and the coach later apologized.”
And that’s it. That’s the whole article. That’s it! WTF!!
This guy should be shot, his 12 year old son will live a better life if he just passes on now. Ernest Provetti (who is clearly just an angry man because his name is Ernest) called the NBA and demanded an apology from Big Baby Davis after Davis allegedly “bumped” his son after hitting the game winning shot against Orlando Sunday night.
Hey Ernest, get a fucking life you mule. Stop searching for attention and teach your 12 year old pussy to be a man!
You probably told every friend you have (all 3) that you got courtside seats to the Magic Game! Hip hip hooray! You were SOOOO excited about being “so close to the action,” you’d be able to “smell J.J. Redick’s farts.”
Now look at you, fussing like a step child that dropped his cookie in the sandbox. You should be ashamed of yourself Ernest. Take a look in the mirror and seriously contemplate what it is you’re trying to accomplish with this….
Do you want fans to be a part of the action? Do you like feeling the energy of the crowd on the court? Do you think your son will remember this day for the rest of his life? DO YOU REALLY WANT TO RUIN THAT FOR THE REST OF THE 12 YEAR OLD FANS YOU FUCKING PRICK!?! Just because Big Baby accidentally knocked poor Nicholas’s hat off? Seriously?
I swear to god I would knock your fucking HEAD off if I met you. Next time buy front row seats to a hockey game and ask them to take down the glass so you can taste the puck. DICK!
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