by Commodore on November 5, 2010
He's dangerous
I can’t wait until Justin Bieber reaches puberty so that when people make fun of his last name, the concoction of chemicals and hormones running through his body will cause him to get so angry that he will start pulling knives on people…kind of like this kid did to his mom.
Surprise police said a boy pulled a knife on his mother who refused to let him go trick-or-treating as a “gay Justin Bieber”.
Forget about teh knife and the costime, how do I become part of the “surprise police”? Sounds interesting. Do you just hide behind shit and then pop out and startle people?
After throwing a tantrum and getting grounded from trick-or-treating, he grabbed a knife from his room and threatened to kill her, Ortega said. The mother disarmed her son without injury and called police. Police arrested the pre-teen on suspicion of threatening his mother with a knife.
Hmmmm, the surprise police have the capability of having their suspicions be dead on. They’re like a gang of mentalists! Amazing.
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by Commodore on July 9, 2010
This child should just be given sums of money
I dare someone to have a better Rags to Riches story. You can’t get much more ragged of a start than a toilet bowl…of an airplane…flown by Turkmenistan Airlines.
An Indian woman gave birth to a baby in the bathroom of an international passenger plane and tried to dispose of it down the toilet, according to media reports in New Delhi. The infant was found stuck in the toilet after the plane landed in Amritsar, northern India, and was rushed to hospital still attached to the toilet bowl, police and doctors told the Press Trust of India news agency. H.P. Singh, a doctor at the Escorts Hospital near the airport, said that a team of surgeons used a saw cutter to clear the newborn’s head from the toilet.
What was that? You were going to tell me how bad your day has been? Oh, you changed your mind? Ok.
Still attached to the toilet bowl! Saw cutters! Even the boys from Slumdog Millionaire would agree that they had it pretty damn good as an infant in comparison. Flushing drugs, goldfish, or cats down the toilet is one thing, but the baby that you just gave birth to is another story. I mean did she just come out of the bathroom whistling a tune, while she dried her recently washed hands with a paper towel? Dooty Doo. Gosh, this is a long flight!
Newspapers reported the mother was an unmarried medical student returning home after completing a degree abroad.
WTF! Maybe this was part of her medical school’s dissertaion. Hopefully soon her brain will be part of a medical school’s dissection
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by Commodore on March 19, 2010
Nothing’s ehhhhhhhver good enough for a lady, now is it? In the beginning, it was cool for guys to father children left and right, high and low. And it was kosher to stay as faithful as an atheist. Then at some point the feamle population banded together and wanted men to not cheat on them, but we weren’t responsible for doing any child rearing. Ok, fair enough…I’ll bite. But soon enough, they wanted us to remain committed to one relationship and ONLY one relationship and they demded us to help raise the kids we father. And if being dragged over these sociatal coals wasn’t hard enough for a man in the 21st century, we have to now deal with this.
Dads are helping out with childrearing more and more these days. The result can be both a boon and a letdown for super-moms, whose self-competence can take a hit when paired with husbands who are savvy caregivers, new research finds.
I give up. Life is hard enough for a man this day & age. Multiple free porn sites, a plethora of fantasy leagues to join, and paying $14 for a 3-pack of underwear seems like robbery. Most of the women I frequent rarely even wear underwear, and here I am paying $14 of injustice.
When mothers perceived fathers to be competent caregivers, the more time those dads spent solo with children, the lower was mom’s self-competence rating. But when mothers considered spouses relatively incompetent caregivers, increased father-only time with kids was unrelated to mothers’ self-competence.
No, I wouldn’t say that these two previous sentences make women seem moody and controlling sometimes, I would say it makes women seem like insomniac schizophrenic marionette puppeteers. You dance when I tell you to dance, mother fuc*er.
And, yes ladies, we dance life’s delicate rubix cube of a dance everyday, in hopes that you’ll be impressed with us for long enough to have sex with us.
Stay strong gents.
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by Commodore on October 26, 2009
Not anymore.
I’m sure it’s not because of my incessant pleadings (However, my ego is hard to convince otherwise) but it seems as if your God has answered my prayers (aka, my bitching).
Social workers have moved to take into care a baby born to an obese mother.
Finally, some baby snatching we can all believe in!
The mother has already had the youngest of her six children, aged 3 and 4, removed from her care because social workers feared that they were at risk of becoming obese.
Read between the lines: “Social workers knew from their spherical shape and propensity to eat large handfuls of butter that they were already obese.”
The 40-year-old mother weighed 23 stone before falling pregnant.
How much is 23 stones, you ask? Well imagine building a rock wall, and now imagine you put 23 of those rocks in a very strong satchel. No lay on a bed, place that satchel on top of you and try to have sex with it. That’s what a 23 stone woman is like (322 pounds, btw).
The parents originally contacted social workers themselves to seek help with managing their children, one of whom has developmental problems. At that time they had a toddler who weighed 4 stone (56 lbs) and a 13-year-old boy who weighed more than 16 stone (224 lbs).
Need some help managing? Stop eating lard burgers dipped in cholesterol and wrapped in whale blubber for every meal? Christ! Thank you social services of Dundee, Scotland…thank you.
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by Commodore on October 17, 2009
Almost as bad as letting your kid do this
A mother’s role has changed over time but one thing a mother ALWAYS is, is Lord and protector over their own children. Nothing comes between a mom (be it a bear, an egret, or a human) and her offspring…Unless you offer up a can of beer, of course.
A 30-year-old Greenville woman was arrested for misdemeanor child neglect Thursday night after police found her 9-year-old daughter sleeping in a vehicle in 37-degree weather, while she was inside a bar drinking for 90 minutes.
If beer trumps offering your child a chance at survival, why not just keep your vaginski closed and continue your life as a useless, miserable drunk, by yourself? Why do you have to validate your existence by reproducing and dragging someone into your miserable life? Nothing better to do? Maybe I just don’t have all the pieces. I’m sure mama will clear it all up.
Police said the woman, who said she had three alcoholic drinks, denied any wrongdoing and said she checked on the girl periodically. She said police were harming her daughter through their actions.
Captors periodically check in on their captives too, but that doesn’t mean that everything is hunky-dory.
39 degrees. While the mom was in a bar drinking. I’m telling you…my, You-need-to-pass-this-exam-in-order-to-reproduce test, is gaining more cred day after day. Who’s with me???
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