by Commodore on October 7, 2010
Modern day Mississippi
Mississppi hasn’t exactly been the country’s leader in anything nationally important since the 1800’s. Typically, its people can’t read or add well, and its not known as an incubator for fitness or organic food centers. As a whole, what they’ve always done well is being what foreigners think of when they say “typical Americans”, and having an indelible fear of God. Throw these together in a soup and you get this story.
Attorney Danny Lampley of Oxford was out of the Lee County Jail after more than 4 1/2 hours of thinking about why he refused to recite the U.S. Pledge of Allegiance today. Eyewitnesses said Chancellor Talmadge Littlejohn asked the court audience to rise and repeat the pledge. Lampley rose but failed to vocalize the words to the pledge.That’s right. An attorney got thrown in jail for not saying what is essentially a children’s song, by someone named Chancellor Talmadge Littlejohn?! What the hell is going on in Mississippi? Is this 2010 or 2000 days since 1910?
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by Commodore on March 11, 2010
- Mississippi’s new state slogan
Overreacting. It happens. Ron Artest? Yeah ok, maybe he should have chosen “woosaa” instead of beating up fans. OJ? Maybe a simple, “Hey, Goldman, why don’t you scram?” would have sufficed. The Aztecs that got slaughtered by something like 5 Spanish dudes on horseback? Hey relax guys, they’re only horses. And here, we have another example of, “When overreacting rules the day“.
A northern Mississippi school district will not be hosting a high school prom this spring after a lesbian student sought to attend with her girlfriend and wear a tuxedo.
To be fair, in Northern Mississippi, the site of outwardly gay individuals are probably about as accepted as horses were by the Aztecs.
Itawamba County is a rural area of about 23,000 people in north Mississippi near the Alabama state line. It borders Pontotoc County, Miss., where more than a decade ago school officials were sued in federal court over their practice of student-led intercom prayer and Bible classes.
I should have guessed. Come on folks, let’s progress. Lesbains are not some sort of alien species. They are beautiful individuals and when they get drunk, go behind closed doors and decide to get naked and frisky, it is quite the awesome site. Trust me.
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by Uncle Awesome on May 27, 2009
Imagine This was a penis, only instead of proud and strong, it was a bloody stump!
Because this didn’t happen to him.
“A Russian woman got so upset by the news that her boyfriend intended to leave her that she tied several firecrackers to his penis and exploded them.”
Russians drink vodka, wrestle bears, and stroll through Siberia for fun. Point being, they are tough, really tough. Zeus from No Holds Barred would sooner go to a KKK rally in the deepest, darkest corner of Mississippi with his hands tied behind his back, than go to Russia. I’m pretty sure as I write this, there is a two year old Russian baby strangling another Russian baby to death for stealing his juice box. And what they call juice, we call “moonshine”.
Even for Russia though, blowing off a man’s dick with fire crackers is some serious shit. When we think of fire crackers we think of BBQ’s, the 4th of July, summer hijinx, and county fairs. Apparently when this Russian woman thinks of them, she thinks “colorful fire shooter of genital death”. I honestly never thought I would read about something that made John Wayne Bobbitt say, “Damn, did you see what happened to that guy’s dick? I am one lucky guy”.
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