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Malaysia

Seems Reasonable

by Commodore on July 21, 2009

Grab a drink and kick back, Malaysia

Grab a drink and kick back, Malaysia

While most of the recessed Western World complains about having to cook their own meals at home, tie their own shoes and jerk off with soap instead of with rhino sweat, there is a world out there that has it a wee bit worse off.

An Islamic court in Malaysia has sentenced part-time model Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarno to six lashes and a fine of 5,000 ringgit ($1,400) for consuming alcohol in a nightclub, a court official said Tuesday.

The question that really needs to be asked is, what was she doing being allowed out on her own in the first place?!  Come on ridiculously-over-the-top-Muslim Malaysia, you gotta be better than that!  I thought you guys abided by the Koran! WTF!

Now I understand why the fanatical Muslims martyrs get 72 virgins!  It’s 72 because that’s a reasonable number of chicks a dude would have banged in his life had the girls been sucking down some vodka sodas when he met them.

Somebody get Malaysia a drink!

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What’s That Noise? Maybe I Should Shoot It

by Commodore on March 15, 2009

I can’t remember who it was that said it first but the idea that “We Are All The Same”, officially doesn’t fly anymore.  I know this to be true because if I heard a noise in a tree outside my house, I wouldn’t think that a monkey was trying to steal fruit out of it.  Even if I did, I don’t think I would then go discharge a firearm in the direction of the racket.  What is this, My Cousin Vinny?!

Even if I did reach this point of “bad to worse” decision making, I sure as shit wouldn’t expect to hear a woman’s shriek after I blasted a round into the vegetation.  And there would be a 100% impossibility that this woman would be my neighbor.

WTF is going on in Malaysia where neighbor’s steal shit out of people’s trees and other people recklessly unload bullets at an unknown rustling noise?

I hear Kuala Lumpur is great this time of year.

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