by Commodore on March 11, 2010
- Mississippi’s new state slogan
Overreacting. It happens. Ron Artest? Yeah ok, maybe he should have chosen “woosaa” instead of beating up fans. OJ? Maybe a simple, “Hey, Goldman, why don’t you scram?” would have sufficed. The Aztecs that got slaughtered by something like 5 Spanish dudes on horseback? Hey relax guys, they’re only horses. And here, we have another example of, “When overreacting rules the day“.
A northern Mississippi school district will not be hosting a high school prom this spring after a lesbian student sought to attend with her girlfriend and wear a tuxedo.
To be fair, in Northern Mississippi, the site of outwardly gay individuals are probably about as accepted as horses were by the Aztecs.
Itawamba County is a rural area of about 23,000 people in north Mississippi near the Alabama state line. It borders Pontotoc County, Miss., where more than a decade ago school officials were sued in federal court over their practice of student-led intercom prayer and Bible classes.
I should have guessed. Come on folks, let’s progress. Lesbains are not some sort of alien species. They are beautiful individuals and when they get drunk, go behind closed doors and decide to get naked and frisky, it is quite the awesome site. Trust me.
No Comments
by Big Lou Al Timber on September 10, 2009
Short hair = Success!
So check this out, I’ve definitely answered age-old question of, “How do we make bitches powerful?” With a little help from Time Magazine…
Go ahead, click through the 50 beautiful, rich-as-all-hell, faces:
Are they all white? Nope.
Are they all skinny? Nope.
Are they all straight? hmmmm.
DO THEY ALL HAVE BUTCH HAIR CUTS? HELL YES.
Look at them? It’s like a fucking college softball convention. I’ve got longer hair on my taint! Number 17 takes the cake, or should I say, the strap-on. Good lord Heidi. I think we need to stop concerning ourselves with Lady Gaga and the dude that sprints for South Africa, and worry more about Heidi re-calibrating a HEMI and driving right up our male asses.
To be fair, I’d bang a few, even if that meant giving a reach around here and there. Like Number 20, I don’t care if she’s 3 times my age. Number 34, decent. Numbers 39, 44, 47, and 49, YUP. And of course my main squeeze Oprah – I’d do her just to get lost in her jelly.
But all that’s neither here nor there. The important thing is when I finally have a little girl I’m going to shave her head every year, name her Jack, and force her to go to college. Billions of dollars here I come!
No Comments
by Uncle Awesome on July 21, 2009
Lets get you two wasted!
Scientists get a bad rap. How many “cool” scientists can you think of? They never really get famous regardless of their accomplishments (barring Einstein, and we both know it’s just because he looks like a cross between an aged chia pet and Bea Arthur’s bush, circa 1987). But now one scientist, Tonda Hughes has done it; she is the coolest person I have ever heard of.
The UIC College of Nursing has received a $3 million federal grant to continue research to identify risk factors for excessive drinking among lesbians.
Who’s funding this? Cinemax? Somehow this woman got 3 million dollars to get a bunch of lesbians drunk? I can’t even get two lesbian hobos to make out if I offer them a room at the Waldorf! (This last sentence is completely untrue, I asked, they jumped at the chance, but there was no way I was going to spend $850 to watch what looked like Harry from Harry and the Hendersons make out with what appeared to be a female King Hippo).
The new study, combined with the 2000 and 2004 surveys, will provide the most comprehensive data yet available on the characteristics and determinants of hazardous drinking among lesbians, Tonda Hughes, professor of health systems science said.
WHAAAAAT? She has made a career of getting lesbians drunk and watching them? What the hell am I doing with my life? I am putting in my notice tomorrow. If there are any lesbians that are reading this, I am starting a new study. It will be a five-year study of 18-32 year old lesbian couples and how they react to having a three-way with me. Please send full body shots to be considered.
No Comments
by Commodore on April 9, 2009
Yes, they are both female.
Dear Cynthia,
What the fuck are you doing? I realize that going gay is the Hollywood thing to do but you didn’t have to pick someone that looks like Mama Fratelli from The Goonies. You’re better than that. Look what Ellen was able to get herself? A nice, hot Portia de Rossi. You get a gremlin.
Maybe us guys just don’t get it. Maybe this “lady” has the tongue of a Gila Monster and a vagina like Austrian wildflowers freckled with morning dew, basking in the dawn’s glow. I don’t know.
Is there really a shortage of lesbos out there? Because I don’t know if I would bang your girlfriend if she was the last person on earth and human existence depended on it. I would say, “You know, us humans had a good run. Let’s call it a day” and then I’d kill myself because I couldn’t bear to look at her.
Cynthia, darling. Please fix this. Maybe I could send you the links to the porn I watch. There are so many hot rug rats in there that would probably love to go down on you for a living.
I know love is more than the sex and the anal beads and the grape jelly but for God’s sake, you don’t want to throw up in your mouth everytime you look at the person laying in bed next to you, do you?
With respect (and a sure-fire erection in case you needed a real hog and someone more interesting to look at than the “Syndrome” look alike from The Incredibles that you are currently with),
The Commodore
No Comments
![[del.icio.us]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/delicious.png)
![[Digg]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/digg.png)
![[Facebook]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/facebook.png)
![[Reddit]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/reddit.png)
![[StumbleUpon]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/stumbleupon.png)
![[Technorati]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/technorati.png)
![[Twitter]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/twitter.png)
