John Wilkes Booth

A much better dive buddy!

Christina Watson, 26, drowned while diving with her husband, David Gabriel Watson, an experienced diver, 11 days after their wedding in 2003.

Prosecutors said he had failed in his duty as his wife’s dive buddy.

Well there’s an understatement.  That’s like saying John Wilkes Booth failed President Lincoln as a courteous member of the audience.   He turned off her air and watched her die. . . . . on their honeymoon.

Now I know things work a bit different in Alabama.  Frankly, I’m not sure if A) slavery is even illegal there or if B) they are fully aware the Civil War is over.  I am however, pretty sure the rules of marriage are the same.

Rule number one:  If you don’t want to get married don’t say “I do”.  That’s it man, that’s all you had to do.  Instead you opted for murder.  I know it’s awkward calling everyone who got a save the date card. “Hey, yeah, sorry to call but we talked about it, and the marriage is a no go, see you at Thanksgiving, good luck with the new double-wide.”

Much easier than “Hey, yeah, so thanks for the blender at the wedding, but I murdered my wife last week so did you want that back for your new double-wide?”  WTF!

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