by Commodore on November 8, 2010
Would you rather...
I like writing these little intro statements but this story had me so flabberghasted that I kind of just want to get to it. You’ll thank me.
Melissa Lee Williams of West Virginia is facing assault and weapons charges after she showed up at her estranged husband’s door with a knife and demanded of him and another man: “Eat my pussy.”
Awwww yeah! West Virginia baby! Imagine being that other dude just visiting, grabbing a beer and then that monster walked in! I might eat Jabba the Hut’s ass out before I would nestle my tongue into her vaginal cavity. You might think that this story is crazy enough but you should stow your carry on and put your head between your legs for this crash landing.
Melissa Lee “commenced to undress herself,” according to the police report, obtained by The Smoking Gun. Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” but the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.”
Brrrrrrrrro! A raccoon wouldn’t eat this woman out. It’s elementary, Watson!
However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.” This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”
Un-be-lievable. You go girl! Everybody deserves some quality time even if that time has to be spent inside something that smelled like a rotting carcass covered in fart. I love how the report said, “Watson understandably declined to proceed any further.” Like there was a previous debate as to whether or not Watson had the right to back off.
Here’s a new game everyone should start playing. Would you rather eat Melissa Lee Williams out or…
No Comments
by Commodore on October 19, 2010
Give me all your money, honey
The recession has been a drag on a lot of people. 10% unemployment, foreclosures, and one less fantasy league to join. This woman must have been in a financial hole too, considering who it was that she was trying to rob.
A Cincinnati woman is accused of robbing a man at gunpoint — her own husband.
For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, in agreement or with a gun in your face.
Police said Stephanie Fall pointed a gun at her husband, Modou Fall, on Sunday afternoon and demanded money. Stephanie Fall is charged with domestic violence.
I think they might need to see a marriage counselor.
No Comments
by Commodore on February 4, 2010
Clear as day
Can’t we just do away with a few people here and there to weed out the sludge? Populations can’t keep growing forever. At some point, some people are gonna have to go. Let’s start with…her.
A 51-year-old Crestview woman who had been warned about calling 911 for non-emergency reasons was arrested Jan. 26 after the fourth call in 90 minutes. She was calling to report that her husband had taken her cell phone and would not return it, according to her arrest report.
You read that correctly. She wasn’t 15. She was 51, with a presumably fully developed brain. Talk about bad problem solving skills. That would be like calling in a demolition specialist, a quarry digging company, and an excavator to plant some tomatoes in your garden.
When an Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office deputy went to their home after the third call, he attempted to call the number for the phone that had been reported as stolen. He heard it ringing in the room, he wrote in his report. At that time, deputies told her not to call again about the phone.
She never bothered to actually call her own cell phone. That should be ground for a public execution for wasting the police’s time.
After she called again, she was arrested for abusing the 911 system. When she was searched prior to being placed in the patrol car, the phone was located in her jacket pocket.
Ready. Aim. Fire.
No Comments
![[del.icio.us]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/delicious.png)
![[Digg]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/digg.png)
![[Facebook]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/facebook.png)
![[Reddit]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/reddit.png)
![[StumbleUpon]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/stumbleupon.png)
![[Technorati]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/technorati.png)
![[Twitter]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/twitter.png)
