Hate

DOUCHE!

I’ve hated this show since Day 1.  Of course I’ve never watched it, never been forced by my fiance to sit through hours of excruciating kissy face.  Yes, I’m a man and I hate everything about this, and yes, I might have shed a tear when Jason…

Shut the fuck up. 

This is pathetic ladies, unbelievably pathetic.  What’s the track record here, like 1 for 15?  News Flash….IT NEVER FUCKING WORKS!  Nobody actually falls in love after 6 weeks of helicopter rides, trips around the world, and most importantly a camera shoved so far up your rectum you can see your own heart beat.  It never fucking works.

And WOW, this guy just fucking sucks.  What’s YOUR track record bro?  Let’s see:

a) Divorced

b) Dumped on national TV by the fat frumpy Greek chick

c) You “fall madly in love” with some Ho from Texas (yes, after 6 fucking weeks).  Suuuuuuuuuuuuure.

d) You fall madly OUT of love with said Ho

e) You break up with her on National TV (again, obviously I didn’t see this first hand, somebody just told me)

f) You ask the old Ho you used to be falling in love with for a second chance!?!

g) STOP FUCKING CRYING YOU PILE OF DICKS.

Hey, dude, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!!

I swear by this, if I ever have a daughter she will absolutely NOT be allowed to watch this show until she’s 18 and well on her way to sucking a dick or two.  There is no show out there that could possibly do more damage to a country’s concept of “Love” than this monstrosity.

Can you imagine the pitch for Bachelor Season fucking 19? 

Alright dude, so we’re going to put you in a house with 37 women who are all going to fall in love with you tomorrow.  You’ll take them flying in F16’s, climb Mt. Everest, and you’ll both get to hold LeBron’s balls.  Sound good?  Oh, and then you’ll eliminate them one by one based on who puts out the least.  Then marry one and break up with her like 3 weeks later. 

Where do I sign up for this fucking shit!!??!!

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