by Commodore on January 6, 2011
Surprise!
There’s nothing more a guy likes than being forced into asking for his girlfriend’s hand in marriage. Err-wait, is it nothing more that a guy likes less? Crap. I forget. Maybe I’ll figure it out by the end of this post.
A woman from Chicago’s Northwest Side wanted to start the New Year with a marriage proposal, with help from police. Ana Perez, 40, called 911 around 8:30 p.m. on Sunday, claiming her boyfriend was attacking her. When police arrived, she changed her story, admitting she was trying to scare her boyfriend into marrying her.
Ta-daaaaa!
Police in the Grand Central District were not amused, and charged Perez with disorderly conduct. “She called 911 to scare him and have the police force him to marry her,’’ according to Grand Central District police Capt. Grand Central District Capt. Ronald Pontecore. The boyfriend, according to police, had no intention of marrying Perez and was in the process of breaking up with her.
I guess that settles it. There’s nothing more a guy likes less…
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by Commodore on July 10, 2009
Obvi.
“Sometimes, you get what you expect. Generally, you meet better people at church than you do at a strip club.”
That wonderful tidbit was brought to us by the Park Forest Police Chief Tom Fleming after some 50 year-old guy thought with his dick instead of his head. Yes chief, as a rule of thumb I would agree that those people that take their clothes off in order to hoard dollar bills early on a Sunday morning are slightly less of character than those asking for penance early on a Sunday morning but when you’re trying to get some titties in your face, usually you meet “better” people at a strip club.
Police say a 50-year-old man should not have become close to a woman he met in a strip club in Chicago Heights, Ill., given she allegedly stole from him.
Is that how police work works in Chicago Heights? I bet Tom Fleming would have said: Steve McNair should not have become close to Sahel Kazemi, given she allegedly shot him in the face.
Thanks Tom. Now go do your job. Generally, that is done by people doing their job.
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by Big Lou Al Timber on March 4, 2009
I’ll be honest, this is a tough one to write. I don’t know whether to praise the poop out of this young man, or ridicule the fuck out of the Chicago PD.
I mean, this kid literally walked into the police station, was handed a radio, hopped in a squad car and worked a 5.5 hour shift. Dude, WHAT THE FUCK?
He drove the car. This 14 year old pimple faced child DROVE THE FUCKING COP CAR!?! Are you kidding me?
I’m no longer scared of Bin Laden, terrorists, the boogy man, herpes. I’m scared of the motherfucking Chicago Police Department because if THOSE shitheads are letting 14 year old boys arrest people, this country has gone to fucking hell.
I don’t know, maybe it’s me, but I would like to believe that a police department has some sort of information about who’s driving its cars, who’s arresting its criminals, who’s eating the damn donuts in the breakroom. Apparently Chicago doesn’t.
Fortunately Sargent Weis informed the public that “all districts will be re-trained.” Hey, Sargeant Weis, YOU FUCKING THINK! Are you kidding me dude? Re-trained? That’s it? They better be re-fucking-worked completely. You might as well fire every last stupid motherfucker that let this happen, including yourself you fucking moron.
“outrgaeous, angering, disturbing, unforgettable.” That’s the best you can do? Holy Shit Batman!
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