Black Mat PRO

My Play about Yoga Mats

Could there be anything more outrageous?

I have a hard time rationalizing spending $100 on anything less than a car.  $100 is a lot of money.  I don’t know if I would spend $100 in exchange for $200.

“Manduka is the Porsche, the Ferrari of yoga mats,” says Phil Swain, CEO of YogaWorks.

Phil, you live a pampered life, don’t you?  You SOB.  The Ferrari of yoga mats?  Come on.  We can’t just call the most expensive thing in any category, “The Ferrari of…” and have it be a good sales pitch.  If someone told you we were getting, “the Ferrari of strippers for a Bachelor Party”, your reaction should be, “Why?  They’re just strippers.  Let’s save our money for the Ferrari of hookers.”  The yoga mat is the stripper in this analogy if you haven’t figured that out.  The hookers?  Pretty much anything else on the face of the planet.

According to the yogis, the thick black Manduka mat makes a real difference. First off, you’re paying for superior traction. “When you sweat during yoga, it’s easy to slip and slide,” says Dayna Macy.

Does Yoga = Walking on a sheet of ice in a pair of sneakers, all of a sudden?

Also, the mat’s extra cushioning softens the stress on your joints. “If you practice vigorously, you’ll be moving up and down a lot, and you’ll use your knees,” says Macy.

Dayna, you would sell sunglasses to a blind person, wouldn’t you?  Moving up and down a lot, aka: what a knee joint has allowed us to do since the dawn of mammalian limbs.  It’s not as if yoga entails balancing on the splinters of a fractured femur.

WTF.

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