Avatar

Not real. Get over it.

A fictional movie is just that, fictional, not real, made up. So for someone to become so affected by what transipred on screen that they become depressed at the nonnegotiable point of its lack of reality, you have to wonder if we have lost our collective minds.

James Cameron’s completely immersive spectacle “Avatar” may have been a little too real for some fans who say they have experienced depression and suicidal thoughts after seeing the film because they long to enjoy the beauty of the alien world Pandora.

What? Good, go kill yourself because floating islands of rocks are a ways away. People! What is going on here?! This is a science fiction movie. Look, I was so in awe at what was on screen that I actually masturbated all over myself in the theater but that doesn’t mean that I should be longing for Pandora after the movie ends. I can understand getting depressed at watching how much gorgeous ass Jude Law gets in Alfie because he was doing that in a world that obeyed the physical laws of nature and he did it in the city I lived in. That’s enough to make you kick rocks on your walk home.

A post by a user called Elequin expresses an almost obsessive relationship with the film. “That’s all I have been doing as of late, searching the Internet for more info about ‘Avatar.’ I guess that helps. It’s so hard I can’t force myself to think that it’s just a movie, and to get over it, that living like the Na’vi will never happen. I think I need a rebound movie,” Elequin posted.

Hey Elequin, why don’t you try The Book of Eli? That’ll cheer you right up and help you realize what WILL happen in this world of ours, i.e. humans all dying at some point. Toodles.

A user named Mike wrote on the fan Web site “Naviblue” that he contemplated suicide after seeing the movie. “Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ “

Dear Mike, go for it. More oxygen and food for the rest of us who appreciate the life we have been given here on earth.