Alex Rodriguez

Atta boy

Alex Rodriguez is raking the ball right now. And as a Yankee fan (yeah, that’s right), if it’s Derek Jeter’s ass that has been the magic touch, then Alex, you stick with what works. If you need to sit on the bench with your finger in Derek’s butt like his ass was Tolkein’s ring, then by God Alex, you stick your finger in his butt inbetween innings.

At least now everyone can get off Alex’s back about not being clutch and get on his back about his sexual orientation. Because let’s be honest…if you’re single, athletic, handsome and have more money than God, choosing to hook up with Kate Hudson of all people, is pretty much like being gay.

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Bruce Banner: You Wouldn't Like Me Very Much When I'm Angry!

Usually I try to find stories a little more obscure to write about, but this is just retarded. Manny Ramirez was found to have performance enhancing drugs in his system (Female fertility drug, real butch tough guy). He was suspended 50 games. This dumb mother fucker. This is like Charles Manson murdering someone while the cops were raiding his living room and saying “Whaaaaaaaat??? Is that wrong?”

He held out ALL SUMMER to get a two year deal, gets $45 million dollars, then takes steroids. I’m pretty sure Hellen Keller would know that the MLB has cracked down on steroids at this point. Check this out:

Yeah, thats just most of the players that have been linked to steroids, so far. If you are one of the highest payed players in the history of the game, and your shoulders have grown more that Bruce Banner’s when he becomes the HULK, don’t take steroids, they will catch you.

And I don’t even give a shit that they are taking them, hell, I hope they all juice, knock the ball a fucking mile, just stop getting caught and fucking up fantasy teams everywhere. Even the WWF kicks people out for steriods, and they are SUPPOSED to look like cartoon characters.

David Ortiz, be warned, you look like you ate the rookie version of you. Mike Tyson looks at you and says “Fuck, that guy has a huge neck.” Your nickname has the word “big” in it. You’re not fooling anyone, be warned.

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