by Commodore on October 4, 2010
Whoa, easy with the light activities buddy
Americans are horrifically fat, from sea to shining sea. Maybe we should change that other song to, “I’m proud to be an American because at least I know I’m fat.” What are Americans doing to fight that obesity binge? Nothing really.
Only about 5% of American adults do some type of vigorous physical activity on any given day, according to the results of a new study. Researchers analyzed 2003-2008 data from nearly 80,000 participants, aged 20 and older in the American Time Use Survey, a national telephone-based poll that asked people what they did in the preceding 24 hours.
1 out of 20. Yikes. Well what else were they doing in the previous 24 hours?
Most respondents reported sedentary activities such as eating and drinking (95.6%) and watching television/movies (80.1%), or light activities such as washing, dressing and grooming (78.9%), and driving a car, truck or motorcycle (71.4%).
That’s what we’re calling “light activities” these days? Showering, putting on clothes and shaving? That’s a bit generous don’t you think? Getting out of your PJ’s and putting on something else is considered a light activity and yet, we can still only get 5% of people to do vigorous physical activity. Of course, by the scale used in this study it looks like vigorous activity could be anything from scratching an itch to tying your shoelaces real tight.
We’re so fat.
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by Commodore on April 19, 2010
Don't anger this person
In case you haven’t seen Bad Boys 2, “Wuuu Saaa” is what Martin Lawerence says to himself in order to keep him from flipping out. It’s a calming mechanism. A calming mechanism that might have helped out this gentleman, for instance.
A 30-year-old man was arrested Saturday on suspicion of stabbing five members of his family, killing two, at a house in Toyokawa, and setting the building on fire.
Wowzers. Everyone has a breaking point though and who knows what any of us would do if we got pushed to the brink.
Iwase reportedly told police under questioning that he was angry that his account with an Internet service provider had been canceled by his father.
Cricket…Cricket. I’ve seen longer fuses on starving wolverines. Then again, we all remember the guy that set a building ablaze over a red stapler. Like I said, we all have our breaking points. This is why I choose not to enter confrontations that involve fist fights. There’s no defense against crazy.
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by Commodore on August 28, 2009
Almost as impressive as this
Sometimes a heist gets so big and complex that you need three people just to conceive of it and make sense of it all. I imagine putting this heist together was like proposing string theory for the the first time. But as you will see, the problem with a heist of this complexity is that things can go haywire at any minute.
Gainesville Police Department spokesman Lt. Keith Kameg says three men approached a 17-year-old Monday and demanded $5. When the teen could only produce 75 cents, one of the men punched him in the mouth.
That’s one way to handle a snag during the operation.
Police have arrested 18-year-old Darrell Butler, 19-year-old Frazier Mack and 18-year-old Mazavious Ross. They face charges of robbery and conspiracy. Bond for Butler and Mack was set at $40,000. Ross’ was set at $100,000.
Frazier Mack? Mazavious Ross? Were these characters in a Tarantino movie or something? Mazavious’s bond was set 20,000 times greater than the amount of money he was originally seeking. By this rationale, if he tried to rob a bank of $1,000,000, but only got offered $150,000, he would punch that person in the face and be in jail on a $20 billion bond. Seems about right.
Kameg did not know if the group already had attorneys. He said authorities believe the suspects were members of a gang.
Lt. Kameg, let me help out your investigation here. They don’t have lawyers. These three guys just tried to rob someone for a total of 5 U.S. dollars, without knowing if this person had $5 on him. I’m guessing that they don’t have paid legal representation on speed dial. You can go back to focusing on the Gators football season now.
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by Commodore on July 10, 2009
Right.
The only thing that gets me more riled up than stupid people would be someone pooping on my sleeping face, sitting in it, filming it and somehow have that video attach to every resume I send for the rest of my life. Well that is at least what I thought before today because you can add, “psychics” to the level of the the shitting on my face thing.
When Glynis McCants looks at Michael Jackson’s life, she sees the number five. Jackson’s talent was discovered when he was 5 years old, he came to fame as a member of the Jackson 5 and he planned a series of 50 concert dates in London, England, as part of a comeback tour before he died on June 25 at the age of 50. For McCants, a noted numerologist and author, those facts are very telling: “Five is the number for drama, and it was in his life his whole life.”
Dear Lord. Glynis McCants, when I look at your life I see a pathetic one.
Numerology deals with the influence of numbers on personal characteristics and human affairs.
“Deals with” aka, not a type of science whatsoever. It’s like when Willem Dafoe tells that guy in Boondock Saints that he must be an expert in “nameology”.
McCants said that by taking Jackson’s birth date (8/29/1958) she could chart his personality. His was “six life path,” she said, meaning he was magnetic and drew people to him. That, coupled with the fact that he was born on a two day made him irresistible, she said. “If you are born on a two day and are a six life path then America and the world seem to fall in love with you,” McCants said.
You know who else was born on (8/29/58)? Lenny Henry. Who’s that, you ask? This guy:
Lenny and MJ have identical lives, don't they?
The world doesn’t give a fuck about Lenny Henry, now does it?
I could continue quoting the inanity of this entire article that CNN should go hang itself for posting but then I predict that Glynis McCants would always be fat and worthless if I did that, and I am not a mean person so I am going to stop right here. I’m an expert in truth-eology. You’re Welcome Glynis!
…Ok I couldn’t help it but:
Psychic Eddie Conner said Jackson couldn’t help but attract such attention, even if it resulted in a life of isolation. Conner works as a “soul intuitive” in Los Angeles.
HE WORKS AS A SOUL INTUITIVE! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH US?!?! I’m gonna go make up a profession. I’m gonna go be a psychic consultant! haha. Who’s with me? They have consultants for everyt-. Wait. No. Please god no!
The desire for such a connection can cause devastation now that Jackson is gone, said psychic consultant, Jack Rourke, who has worked extensively in paranormal research and consulted for major Hollywood studios. “Even though we’ve never met Michael, people create a symbiotic relationship with this image or this person,” Rourke said. “We project all of the positive aspects of ourselves, all of the wonderful things onto this image of perfection or near perfection that we see, and we imagine subconsciously that this person is in agreement with the deepest part of ourselves.
We are the saddest creature that has ever lived…WTF.
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