by Commodore on August 31, 2010
Maybe your kids are bored with you
There’s one thought of parenthood that always spooks me. When I’m tired and want to lay on the couch and watch TV or read a book, I apparently have to play a game with my children that intellectually or physically I am far superior than them at. This seems awfully annoying. While I can only theorize, these parents tell it like it is.
30% of mothers and fathers think playing with their offspring is boring, the survey commissioned by Disneyland Paris found.
Of course it’s boring, you idiots! You are playing a game fit for humans aged 2-4. It’s like Agent Smith fighting someone who hasn’t freed his mind yet. But these are your kids that you decided to have. You had to know that they would be 3 before they would be 18.
This sense of ennui is actually picked up by 16% of youngsters, while 55% of children want more quality fun time with their parents.
In the immortal words of Chris Rock, go take care of your kids so they don’t rob me in 10 years.
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by Commodore on December 29, 2009
Come on, people
You could have your very own baby! Not a Japanese toy baby that cries, shits itself and keep you up all night, I’m talking a real live baby.
A couple was charged Friday with trying to sell their 2-month-old baby for $30 in a store parking lot, authorities said.
Even Sam’s Club would take that back for more money, even without a receipt. $30? How strapped for cash and how short sighted are you that you would sell your flesh and blood for a KFC party pack?
Robert G. Ellingson, 23, approached two people in the PetSmart parking lot and offered them a beer. When they refused, he offered to sell his child, Escambia County Sheriff’s officials said.
That’s an interesting raise on the ante.
- Hey, you wanna rent a movie?
- No, I’m kind of busy.
- You wanna build a space rocket instead?
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by Commodore on October 17, 2009
Almost as bad as letting your kid do this
A mother’s role has changed over time but one thing a mother ALWAYS is, is Lord and protector over their own children. Nothing comes between a mom (be it a bear, an egret, or a human) and her offspring…Unless you offer up a can of beer, of course.
A 30-year-old Greenville woman was arrested for misdemeanor child neglect Thursday night after police found her 9-year-old daughter sleeping in a vehicle in 37-degree weather, while she was inside a bar drinking for 90 minutes.
If beer trumps offering your child a chance at survival, why not just keep your vaginski closed and continue your life as a useless, miserable drunk, by yourself? Why do you have to validate your existence by reproducing and dragging someone into your miserable life? Nothing better to do? Maybe I just don’t have all the pieces. I’m sure mama will clear it all up.
Police said the woman, who said she had three alcoholic drinks, denied any wrongdoing and said she checked on the girl periodically. She said police were harming her daughter through their actions.
Captors periodically check in on their captives too, but that doesn’t mean that everything is hunky-dory.
39 degrees. While the mom was in a bar drinking. I’m telling you…my, You-need-to-pass-this-exam-in-order-to-reproduce test, is gaining more cred day after day. Who’s with me???
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