12 | Bro, WTF?!

That's how advanced they are

The Swiss have always been a people that are looked at in a higher regard. A land locked stepping stone in the 20th century, they thought it best to never pick sides, work on their watches, hold everyone’s money, and equip their non-existent army with amazingly handy knives. I’d pay good money just to have a Swiss passport and look down on the rest of the world, and that was before this news came out.

Switzerland has probably become the first country in the world to sell extra small condoms for boys as young as 12 years…Called ‘Hotshot’, the condoms have been produced after a Swiss government research revealed that 12 to 14-year-olds didn’t use sufficient protection when having sex.

Whoa! Talk about advanced! When I was 12, I uncomfortably came for the first time after having humped my bed. And I thought I was the “Hotshot” when I had sex for the first time, at 15. Little did I know, Swiss kids have the sexual know-how to direct porn movies at that age.

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Modern day Iran

It’s easy to forget that we live in the land of good and plenty because…well, because we live in the land of good and plenty. But there are places in this world where people get stoned to death for being swingers. I’m not talking about a story that happened during Assyrian rule, I’m talking about 2009.

Iran’s moral police have arrested a dozen couples for engaging in illicit sexual acts, including swapping partners, the conservative Jomhuri Eslami reported on Monday.

Iran’s moral police. Aren’t those words, in fact, an oxymoron?

The couples were said to have carried out sexual acts in the presence of each other and several times with multiple partners, the report added.

God forbid someone gets a little ass in Iran. I think it would do the population good to loosen up, don’t we think? I realize that I would not pass a written “Strict Shia Law” test, but come on, this was consensual sex!

Those arrested held university degrees, while some were government employees and had children.

Yes, that’s right, the smart and educated know how much fun sex is! The article makes it sound like these people were carving up babies and selling the body parts for giraffe hides. WTF.

Extra-marital sex is illegal in Iran where Islamic sharia law is the principal source of legislation. If found guilty of adultery, those arrested in the crackdown face being stoned to death.

STONED. TO. DEATH. Yay for religion!

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We Wouldn’t Have Enough Stones Here

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