100%

Scary.

Do we humans have any positive affect on the planet whatsoever?  I’m beginning to think that the only thing of value that we have brought to this world are burritos, rope swings and the birth control pill. 

No fish can escape mercury pollution. That’s the take-home message from a federal study of mercury contamination released Wednesday that tested fish from nearly 300 streams across the country.  The toxic substance was found in every fish sampled, a finding that underscores how widespread mercury pollution has become.

Every fish, folks.  Every fish.

But while all fish had traces of contamination, only about a quarter had mercury levels exceeding what the Environmental Protection Agency says is safe for people eating average amounts of fish.

Jeez EPA, that’s awfully Mr. Brightside of you.  Looking at the glass half full is one thing but it’s an entirely different thing to look at a glass that is a quarter full of shit and say, “Well hey, at least the glass works and there isn’t shit all over the floor.”

Mercury consumed by eating fish can damage the nervous system and cause learning disabilities in developing fetuses and young children.

1 out of 4 fish.  That sounds like shitty odds when we’re talking damage to your nervous system.  Christ, you tell a guy that 25% of the bar is filled with women that have gonohrrea and he will leap through a double-pane glass window and run for the hills, a) because he has no idea what a condom is or how to put it on and b) because he doesn’t want a little itch on his pee pee (ok, it’s more like having a jellyfish permanently fastened to your pecker but let’s not get into it).

If I had a plate of a gay baboon’s raw ass next to a plate of trout, I don’t know what would be a bigger risk to eat anymore.  WTF.

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