Yup. You read that correctly. What you didn’t read (because I didn’t write it yet) is that this guy also has children. And these children probably have classmates or colleagues that read browse the Internet. Sucks to be those kids.
Dave Hockey’s wife isn’t as distraught as you might expect at the prospect of him keeping other female company on holiday – because his companion is a plastic doll.
These same children also have classmates who read more of an article than just the title to realize that the mother of these poor kids is as bat shit crazy as the father.
Weighing 40kg (90lb), Bianca has to be moved in a wheelchair. She is one of 14 dolls on whom Mr Hockey has spent £16,000 on travel and outfits, including £1,270 of lingerie. Mr Hockey has even taken Bianca skydiving. ‘The instructor who jumped in tandem with her said it made a pleasant change to not have someone screaming in his ear,’ he said.
And people wonder why, in the movies, aliens always want to obliterate us.
Last week, we had a kid go ape shit, killing someone and stabbing 3 others because someone was making fun of his farts. This week, we learn of a story where a girl stabbed another kid because the latter was making fun of the former’s stinky feet.
A drunken Washington state teen convicted of stabbing a young man who accused her of having stinky feet must complete a writing assignment while in prison. Dallas Smith, 18, pleaded guilty to second-degree assault with a knife for stabbing Willy Simpson, 19, at a Sept. 7 party after Simpson teased Smith about having smelly feet, The Herald of Everett, Wash., reported.
Farts and feet. They smell, folks. Everyone’s smell. Why are people getting defensive over the scent of the most foul parts of one’s body?
“Let me be absolutely clear: This case is not about smelly feet,” the judge said. “It is about binge drinking and (the) criminal behavior that did flow from that.”
Oh ok. That’s a decent point. Sorry, your honor. Drunk, I once tried to put myself in the clothes dryer because I wanted to feel what it would be like. Maybe alcohol does impede your judgment. Who knew?
It’s time to get rid of the 48th state. Arizona has what, 2 cities and a national landmark? We can do without Phoenix and Tuscon; and God knows we have enough photos of the Grand Canyon. With the gun laws, the arrest-a-Hispanic-because-you’re-in-the-mood laws, and now this, I’m ready to give Arizona back to whomever wants it.
Boca Tacos y Tequila says it’s accepting orders for African lion tacos, to be served starting Feb. 16. Bryan Mazon says there are already a few reservations from curious customers. Mr Mazon says his restaurant started offering exotic tacos on its menu every Wednesday about six months ago and has tried “just about anything we can get our hands on.”
That’s always comforting to hear a restaurant owner say that he will serve anything he can get his hands on. I don’t know when karma actually starts to kick in, but I’m guessing that when you start serving The King of the Jungle on tacos, the karma-meter starts moving towards the “you should buy some insurance” side of the dial.
Discussing Obama’s views on abortion during a two-hour sit-down with CNS News on Thursday, Santorum said the president’s pro-choice position meant he was valuing some lives over others. “The question is, and this is what Barack Obama didn’t want to answer — is that human life a person under the Constitution?” he said. “And Barack Obama says no. Well, if that human life is not a person, then I find it almost remarkable for a black man to say ‘now we are going to decide who are people and who are not people.’”
“For decades certain human beings were wrongly treated as property and denied liberty in America because they were not considered persons under the constitution,” his statement says. “Today other human beings, the unborn of all races, are also wrongly treated as property and denied the right to life for the same reason; because they are not considered persons under the constitution. I am disappointed that President Obama, who rightfully fights for civil rights, refuses to recognize the civil rights of the unborn in this country.”
Rick, are you on hallucinogenics? Are you really comparing adult human beings to a large zygote? People, whatever your arguments or feelings are about abortion, I hope you haven’t rationalized “Dick Pandamonium’s” reasoning. Um, you’re black and black people once didn’t have rights according to the constitution so clearly you should be pro life.”
That’s like saying, since alcohol was once illegal and you now it’s legal and you enjoy it, heroin should also be legal.
Throughout the years, we have posted about plenty of people going ape shit over seemingly trivial matters. Each new one I stumble across takes the cake. This time is no different.
A 21-year-old city man charged with stabbing four people at a party Saturday night, killing one, told investigators he became enraged because people were criticizing him for passing gas, police said.
Whoa, dude. That’s worse than Mike Dexter in Can’t Hardly Wait when he reacts to everyone laughing at his lame, “Who’s’ gonna want you anyway, Amanduuuh?” joke by screaming, “I’ll kick everyone’s ass in this room!”
Marc Higgins, who was described by witnesses as being “very drunk,” stormed out of the party, came back armed with three knives and started stabbing people indiscriminately, according to court documents released Monday.
Indiscriminately? Jeez, I wonder what set him off to go rogue Ninja on people.
Police say Higgins got into an argument with another person at the party, Stacy Buccheri, who chastised him for being flatulent. Witnesses told police that Buccheri slapped Higgins, who smashed a beer bottle and then stormed out of the apartment. He returned about 45 minutes later, police said, and attacked several people on a porch with knives, including all four who were wounded.
45 minutes later? My God, this guy must have been STEAMING! Somewhere Charlie Murphy is saying, “See I told you. First of all, you don’t slap a man.”
A mysterious syndrome in which men come down with a flu-like illness after an orgasm may be caused by an allergy to semen, Dutch scientists said on Monday.
Evolution by natural selection usually does a pretty good job at weeding out the those that don’t belong. My guess is that if you are getting the flu every time you ejaculate, mother nature is trying to tell you something. Sorry fellas.
Men with the condition, known as post orgasmic illness syndrome or POIS and documented in medical journals since 2002, get flu-like symptoms such as feverishness, runny nose, extreme fatigue and burning eyes immediately after they ejaculate. Symptoms can last for up to week.
Oh man, any guy I see who is sick is getting the, “Caught a cold, huh?” followed by a long stare and a brimming smile. I love how they named this thing POIS. POIS is very close to the word: poise, which of course has synonyms of dignity and self-confidence. Teeheehee. Very funny Dutch scientists, very funny.
It used to be safe to say that losing weight was a good thing. Well, not so fast.
Weight loss may have an unwanted side effect, according to a new study in the journal Nature: It may send a flood of environmental pollutants into the bloodstream. Body fat stores certain pollutants, including such pesticides as DDT and polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs). If a person loses weight and significant amounts of body fat are broken down, these chemical compounds, known as persistent organic pollutants, are released and can lead to disease, said researchers from Kyungpook National University in Daegu, South Korea.
Oh goodie!
Lee recommended exercising and sticking to a plant-based diet to help to rid the body of these pollutants during weight loss. Of course, not becoming overweight in the first place would eliminate the costs paid by obese people who want to return to being non-obese, she said.
In other words, getting fat and then wanting to get back in shape has the possibility of being doubly unhealthy. So much for second chances in life. Brutal.
In case ugly people didn’t have enough to contend with in life, now they have to deal with the fact that the chick with perfect tits, small ankles and a beautiful face, is also going to fair better on a Mensa Quiz.
Beautiful people don’t just get all the breaks, scientists say they’re likely smarter than most people, too. A study in England conducted by researchers at the London School of Economics found that attractive men and women generally have higher IQs.
Finally, the “It’s science” joke carries some well founded weight. Of course I mean “weight” to mean: significance, power and authority, rather than the other definition: heaviness, poundage or tonnage. If you are well founded in weight you probably don’t even get the “It’s science” joke because, well…because it’s science.
I love NYC more than any other city in the world. I realize that on the surface, this statement doesn’t carry any weight in geo-political matters, nor does it shift the trends in immigration habits. However, the point is, NYC is an amazing place even if small dirty mammals can – from time to time – climb on your face while you are riding the subway. But hey as the slogan goes, “Don’t go underground unless you are willing to have a rat get all up in your shit”, or whatever the MTA slogan is.
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