by Commodore on January 31, 2009
Don’t let the boobs distort logic
This is the first post without a link or video. I felt that it was a topic serious enough to point out.
Dudes, stop buying girls drinks before ever talking to them. Why, douchebag? Here’s why:
1) Women are pack-like creatures. When the pack sees what the other one gets, the pack wants. Your inability to strike up a conversation with a girl you’ve never met before means that when I go to talk to one of her friends, I have to shell out an ‘initiation fee’ just to talk to her.
2) You aren’t getting any closer to getting in her pants. She’ll take the free drink but she’s not retarded. She knows that everyone wants to fuck her. If she wants to have sex with you or not, is not up to you. Ever.
3) You just creeped her out. She never wanted to talk to you before, but like a legless beggar that approaches her on the streets of Saigon, she feels obligated to talk to you now.
Fellas, stop being retarded.
No Comments
by Commodore on January 31, 2009
Human dumbells? I seriously don’t even know what to say…
No Comments
by Commodore on January 30, 2009
is this being viewed on ANY news site? I don’t care if there were only 2 people left on the planet and the other person was sleeping . The other person would have been more noteworthy than a fat, portly cat riding a fucking sled.
CNN.com has the audacity to have the words, “Unedited. Unfiltered. News” on top of their iReport page which is basically Youtube. News? News?? NEWS???? Mittins riding a sled? An $825 billion dollar energy recovery bill is news. News is knowledge. News is discovery. Mittins riding a sled is rigmarole. It’s hogwash. It’s rubbish. It was actually less entertaining than trying to watch Paris Hilton give a blow job through that fish eye night vision camera that was posted all over the internet a few years back.
That fucking mittens video was watched 34,725 times at the time of this posting. That is the equivalent of over 12 DAYS of people watching this video. TWELVE DAYS! For a fat riding a sled 16 feet down a slushy hill. If that wasn’t posted on the internet, humanity would have had 12 days of productivity back.
I think I am going to go snort some cyanide and watch Rachel Ray.
No Comments
by Commodore on January 29, 2009
When you’re pregnant and show the world your fat tummy because being pregnant is beautiful and it’s natural and it’s the creation of life, yadda yadda yadda but if someone asks you to lift up your shirt and show your stomach while you’re pregnant, it becomes degrading? WTF?
Alledgedly, Australia is about as sue happy as the U.S. Listen lady, last week my store got robbed by someone who looked just like you. I think you’re stealing shit, so lift up your shirt a tad and show me what you got. This type of profiling happens to black people all the time. It ain’t right but just deal with the mix up.
“Cr Tully said it was disgraceful that an eight-and-a-half-month pregnant woman had been humiliated in public for such a minor matter.”
First of all, who the fuck is Cr? What the fuck is that all about? Secondly, you were not humiliated. Relax. It wasn’t like the store owner stripped you naked, dumped pickle juice all over you, attached jumper cables to your nipples, and took a CNN Ireport of himself of all this with his nuts in your face, ok? THAT would be humiliating. You showing your belly button is NOT humiliating. Just stop it.
“The liquor store should be forced to apologise and pay compensation to this woman for the degrading way she was treated. The State Government should make it illegal for store owners to require shoppers to submit to strip searches in public.”
Pay compensation for what? “You thought I stole something motherfucker???? Well now I’m gonna sue your ass!” That can’t be how a functioning society works. People need to stop sucking.
1 Comment
by Commodore on January 27, 2009
Well not really. She’s just an idiot. She is just the latest example of why living in suburban Pennsylvania and being
obsessed with a team of hacks like the Pittsburgh Steelers is about as mature as 2nd grade.
“I don’t miss a game. If I was in school and I had a paper, it would have to wait. Work, I always request it off. I can’t miss a Steeler game. I can’t miss a game.”
Hmmm. You work on gameday, which is typically Sunday. Now you might be a freelancer but the fact that you have to “request” off tells me that waiting on that school paper might not have been the best thing for your career.
Turner told Edwards she is willing to offer her forehead, arms and car as a billboard as she travels to Tampa, while she is at the game, and on her trip home. “It’s like a free commercial for them because Super Bowl commercials are sky high, and you have to pay a lot of money to have a commercial on air so why not put it on my body?” Turner said.
Wow! You’ll offer up your forehead and arms for a whole weekend??? You’re so dedicated! I bet you’re the only person willing to get a henna tattoo to get to go to the biggest football game in the world! I can’t believe companies aren’t jumping at the chance to advertise on the face of some no name moron who will then remove said advertisement 2 days later.
Why pay a lot of money to have the commercial on air? Well Audra, you see…you pay a lot because 100 million people are going to see your ad. About 300 people are going to see your busted ass car and smeared indecipherable writing traveling the length of your arm. That’s why companies don’t want to use you.
“This would mean the world to me. I would be speechless, it would make my world, it would make my life my month, my day, the rest of my life.”
Good Lord. Audra, you need to reassess your life goals. You want to impress people? Offer to get a limb hacked off for a ticket to the game. I bet you’d get more takers.
And fuck you, Channel 4 Action news for posting this story about an idiot that wants to go to the Super Bowl.
by Commodore on January 26, 2009
I think that guy just jizzed on my back.
Well, you couldn’t say that the news of the
3-D porn revolution surprises you, it’s just that you don’t know what repetetive excuse you’re going to give your friends for NOT going out with them 8 weekends in a row.
“Just imagine that you’ll be watching it as if you were sitting beside the bed. There will be many close-ups. It will look as if the actresses are only a few centimetres from the audience.”
Sweet! No more stalking or “peeping Tom” lawsuits to navigate through! The only thing is that seeing some dude’s hog in 3-D won’t allow you to use the “it’s the angle their filming at” defense when explaining to your girlfriend that his penis is not actually twice the size of yours. Sorry to break it to you fellas. If it was that much bigger in 2-D, it’s gonna look like an octopus arm in 3-D.
I’m sure some dudes out there are gonna say, “Oh man, I don’t want to see ANY dick in 3-D.” Relax, you homophobes. You need a little dick in there so you can fantasize about actually being in his place. Yes, the camera looking up from the underside of a doggystyle formation will make it feel like his nuts are hitting you in the back of the head but hey, without a struggle, there can be no progress, right?
But the producer says, “We’re having trouble finding a male lead who is willing to undress in front of the camera. It’s a lot more difficult to find an actor than an actress for this kind of film.”
Yeah I don’t think any Asian man wants his penis in 3-D…it’ll still look like it’s in 2-D. Most Asian dicks I’ve been around have been “rearry rearry small”.
But hey Mr. Producer, let me thumb through my Rolodex to help you out with this male actor search….yup, here we are…a one Mr. North and a one, Mr. Siffereddi. I believe they’ll be able to help.
by Commodore on January 26, 2009
Greg Oden turned 21 last Thursday, or in human years, 57. Importantly he doesn’t feel any older, he “feels like a day went by.” Goooooood Greg, you nailed it.
Day end, you sleep, day begin, you wake = Day go by.
That’s exactly the kind of shit a 57 year old man says when asked how his last poop went.
At least Greg knows he looks like the old soul he is, noting on his “blog” (what the fuck is a blog anyways?) that people already think he’s 50. No shit dude, that’s being generous. Actually you look like you’re 75 and just had rhinoplasty that really didn’t work, but whatever.
Mr. Oden says he’s waiting for the day someone doesn’t recognize him and cards him, so he can say, and I quote, “nope player im of age.”
You’re kidding right? That’s absolutely fucking ludicrous. You can’t possibly believe there’s any person in the world that wouldn’t recognize you, can you? I mean, you’re the only person I’ve ever seen that actually combines my nightmares, Cro-Magnon man, and a hamburger patty into a living being. If you walked up to me in a bar I would hand you a brandy and duck the fuck out of the way.
Player, you’re not OF age, you ARE age.
No Comments
by admin on January 25, 2009
Coming Soon…for now keep checking us out at www.browtf.blogspot.com
No Comments
by Commodore on January 23, 2009
HAHAHAHAHAHA, you got FUCKED UP! I mean, you must literally be the worst group of people ever to set foot on a basketball court. What are you, gimps, midgets, retards….ooooooohh waaaaaiiiitt.
I don’t know how many times I can say, “Only in Texas,” before I just fucking go bomb that horrible place, but for fuck sake, ONLY IN TEXAS does a basketball team get blanked and lose by 100! Pathetic!
And only in Texas does the team that absolutely shit on the other team go back with an apology afterwards. It’s not that hard to take a look at the scoreboard at halftime, see the score 59-0, and realize you might have this one in the bag.
“Hey coach, I know they’re dyslexic and shit, but it’d probably be a good idea to press the second half anyways. I mean fuck it right, I might break a steals record or something.”
Dallas Academy (AKA worst athletic school ever) has 20 students. I guess it specializes in teaching students with learning disabilities like ADD and dyslexia. Good fucking thing! They probably still think they won 100-0! Silly little ho’s.
And now Covenant is my favorite high school ever. They’re fucking awesome. I mean really, how bad ass do you have to be to try and drop 100 on a team of 8 special-ed chicks!?! FUUUUUCKING Bad Ass Dude!
I hope Covenant Coach Micah Grimes breaks his dick next time he’s fucking his boyfriend. I wouldn’t think twice about taking a baseball bat to his shin. In fact, let’s start a website dedicated only to Micah Grimes, we’ll call it www.assholeI’dMOSTliketorip.com. FUCKING. PRICK.
No Comments
by Commodore on January 23, 2009
The latest and greatest from my favorite website, “The Frisky” is of course smeared all over a so called
“news organization’s” website disguising itself as news when in actuality it is a cluster fuck of nonsensical advice for girls looking for dating advice on cnn.com
One to Three Dates: “Think of yourself as a director for the first few dates and cast him in the role of aspiring ingénue. He needs to impress you. Ask questions. Listen to his answers. The added bonus? The less you talk about yourself and the more questions you ask about them, the more intelligent men will think you are. Which is ridiculous. And hilarious. Also? True.”
Judy, are you drunk? Director? Casting? The more questions you ask, the more intelligent we think you are? Have you ever been on a date? If a guy is not at least getting a BJ and sticking his finger up your butt by the third date, he’s out. I don’t care if you are giving him the role of Frodo in Lord of the Rings! Women can’t go three seconds, let alone three dates without talking about themselves. I thought you women wanted “good listeners”. Now you want dudes bragging about themselves and not giving a shit about you? Ok, fine by me!
Two to Three Weeks: “Unless you two are keeping things very casual, if he’s been around for a few weeks, you’re probably thinking that he has keeper potential…If a guy is going to freak out because your Uncle Marco is serving a life sentence, now’s the time to find out. Before you get too attached.”
Keeper potential? Two weeks? REEEEEEEEEEEEELAX! And don’t tell me about your fucking Uncle Marco serving a life sentence either, maybe ever! I just fucking met you two weeks ago! Let me find that out one Thanksgiving together at your parent’s house…five years into our relationship. Too attached? Jesus Christ, you psycho! Go home!
Three-to-six months: “This would be the time when you figure out whether or not he’s h-h-h-husband material. Meaning, he doesn’t bug the crap out of you.”
Are you f-f-f-fucking serious? Yeah, 3 months seems about a reasonable amount of time to decide if you want to spend the next 70 years together. I mean, you did hear me fart, so we should be able to tackle anything together!
Three years, not months…then I’ll see if YOU still bug the crap out of ME. Then I’ll continue trying to avoid the marraige thing…still thinking we should “wait a while”.
No Comments
Don’t let the boobs distort logic![[del.icio.us]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/delicious.png)
![[Digg]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/digg.png)
![[Facebook]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/facebook.png)
![[Reddit]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/reddit.png)
![[StumbleUpon]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/stumbleupon.png)
![[Technorati]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/technorati.png)
![[Twitter]](http://www.browtf.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/twitter.png)
