The Least Impressive Statement Ever Uttered

Oh, I would...

Guys say it everyday. We say it over and over and over again to one another and it is agreed upon 100% of the time by all guys within ear shot. It is something so completely obvious that I don’t understand why it is that we still say it. It’s about as innovative as,

“I can’t live without water.”

“I just love breathing oxygen.” and

“I love pooping so much.”

The statement that I am looking to stricken from all man talk from now on is when a guy sees a hot chick and states:

“Oh, I’d bang the shit out of her!”

Who. fucking. wouldn’t? Come on guys. This is not revolutionary. We’re the beasts that would stick our penis into a wood chipper if it got us off. We are the bunch that have come up with the statement, “Big girls need love too.” We invented blow up dolls. We pay for sex. In fact, one of us paid for a night with Divine Brown while he was with Elizabeth Hurley in her prime.

Seeing a hot chick and proclaiming to your friends that if you were given the chance, you could engage in sexual activity with said girl, is not something that needs to be said anymore. It’s over obvious. If you want to get the point across to your friends that you are willing to do anything to spend some intimate time with a blazing hot chick, you need to start saying things like, “I would let her strap on a giant dildo and literally bang the shit out of me on National TV while I sang .”

Deal? Deal.