Oh, Well That Settles It!

Move bitch, get out the way.

This is without question the dumbest thing I’ve heard this month. Donte Stallworth says he “flashed his car’s headlights to warn a pedestrian before fatally striking a man in Miami Beach last month.” Well congratu-fucking-lations Donte, you’re free to go.

Apparently in the world of Donte, as long as you flash the high beems at the dumb mother fucker walking across the street, minding his business at 7:00 AM, it’s ok to plow into him and end his life. Shoulda seen the flashing lights huh Donte?

Dude, let’s get a few things straight. First of all, just because the guy wasn’t in the crosswalk doesn’t mean it’s ok to end his life. I know in the video games it’s fine, and rappers do that kinda shit all the time (see Diddy), but in America – home of the free – you can’t just kill people walking across the street because they don’t see you. Remember that whole Pedestrians and Right of Way thing?

Second of all, if you had time to flash your fucking lights at the guy, why didn’t you have time to SLAM ON THE FUCKING BRAKES dude!?! What the fuck is that about?

Just go to jail Donte, don’t pass Go, don’t collect $200. Get a BJ before you head out, Vinny in cell block 249 uses his teeth and it really bites the big one if you know what I mean.
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