Check out my Sword Bitch!

Excuse me, may I have your money? Um…please hand me the money right now. Listen Patel you slushee fuck, I really need you to give me that for free OR I’LL CUT OFF YOUR FUCKING HANDS WITH MY SWORD!

I can’t wait until they catch this guy, because I’m putting my life savings on him looking EXACTLY like a young Brian Lavoyda Urlacher (yes, true story, that’s his real middle name, faggot) in the Old Spice commercial. And you know they’ll catch him, he ripped off a 7-11 in Colorado Springs with a damn sword.

And how cool is the second clerk at the 7-11? Well, obviously not that cool, but cool enough to tell the guy “No” and kick him the fuck out of his store, Star Trek sword or not.

I would have been like, “Here! Take the money man, take my shirt, my shoes, here’s my sister she’s a virgin. Just DO NOT slice me with your fucking sword dude.”

Unless of course I had my wolverine claws on, then I’d challenge him to an Honor DU-EL and whup is fucking ass.