Ma’am You Threw Out a Perfectly Good…Baby??

Not until you can tell me where your baby is

Shit like this never happens on my flight. The most alarming thing that has ever happened on a flight that I was on was when my TV was in black and white while everyone else’s was in color. That’s it.

So when I hear that a woman gave birth to a child in an airplane bathroom, threw the baby out in a “rubbish bin”, and then ends up at the hospital WITH her child that she just threw out, I get jealous of the people who get to say for the rest of their life, “I WAS ON THAT FLIGHT!”

Ok, enough about my bitterness and on to the poor baby that got thrown out in an airplane bathroom. First of all, how in the heck does one give live birth in a space barely big enough to hold a standing human being? Add to the equation, no epidurals, no forceps, and I’m guessing, she didn’t scrub up.

Did she just leave the bathroom like, dum dee dum and go back to her seat and finish the magazine she was reading while leaking blood and after birth all over the place? You might think that people should have noticed that a woman who recently was “with-child” was now “sans-child” but don’t forget folks, she WAS Samoan. She could have given birth to a hippo and you might not have been able to see the difference.

“We are relieved to have been informed by Manukau Counties police that both mother and child are reunited, are well and are now being looked after in hospital.”

WTF?! I don’t know if “reunited” is the best adjective, unfortunately. “Reunited” has a positive connotation, no? I imagine her reaction would have been more like Pauly in Weekend at Bernie’s everytime he keeps seeing Bernie “alive” after he thought he just killed him.