Old Fart

Greg Oden turned 21 last Thursday, or in human years, 57. Importantly he doesn’t feel any older, he “feels like a day went by.” Goooooood Greg, you nailed it.

Day end, you sleep, day begin, you wake = Day go by.

That’s exactly the kind of shit a 57 year old man says when asked how his last poop went.

At least Greg knows he looks like the old soul he is, noting on his “blog” (what the fuck is a blog anyways?) that people already think he’s 50. No shit dude, that’s being generous. Actually you look like you’re 75 and just had rhinoplasty that really didn’t work, but whatever.

Mr. Oden says he’s waiting for the day someone doesn’t recognize him and cards him, so he can say, and I quote, “nope player im of age.”

You’re kidding right? That’s absolutely fucking ludicrous. You can’t possibly believe there’s any person in the world that wouldn’t recognize you, can you? I mean, you’re the only person I’ve ever seen that actually combines my nightmares, Cro-Magnon man, and a hamburger patty into a living being. If you walked up to me in a bar I would hand you a brandy and duck the fuck out of the way.

Player, you’re not OF age, you ARE age.