3.7 Mil for THIS Chick?

Come on guys, let’s reconsider here. How about we think this one through. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had bad ideas, many of them in fact. I’ve pooped on people’s cars, ran red lights, slept with my cousin, whatever. But this is like running up to Rampage Jackson with skinny jeans and a scarf on, grabbing his balls and then reaching back and slapping him right in the fucking face. NOT SMART.

Alert! Alert! Alert! THAT BITCH IS FAT! Don’t let the Sears Glamour Shots fool you! Spending 3.7 million just to take her worthless virginity is NOT SMART, nor is it cool. Dropping that much coin for 45 seconds of Persian floppiness is a fucking terrible idea! You’re better then that. $370 would be preposterous for this chick…if she was a hooker!

In fact, who the fuck does Natalie think she is? Auctioning off your virginity…Really? Exactly how desperate does that make you? And you, Mr. 3.7 Million, how desperate does this make YOU for fuck sake!?! Go to a bar you lazy piece of shit, there’s Persians everywhere and they LOVE dick. Plus, you can probably find one that won’t make your undershirt look like Under Armour.

I’d love to meet you Mr. 3.7 Mil. I’d love to ruffle your hair and scratch your back. And I’d truly enjoy beating your face with shovel you frivolous fuck.

$3,700,001 bitches! Gonna get me some flubby loving.