Women Would Give Up Sex To Lose Weight

Stop wishing and start doing

See, herein lies the rub. I know men are from Mars. We’re fucked up and we make decisions like we were Martians sometimes. But come on ladies! You know that our Vas Deferens gets clogged if we don’t have sex and that can kill us! Your decisions could kill us.

About half of women say they would rather go without sex for the summer than gain 10 pounds.

A man would never ever make such a ridiuclous statement. A man would rather take an ice pick to his ey-

A fourth of men feel the same way.

Hold on, what? Oh I get it, these merry few, these Band of Fourths must be the guys who aren’t having much sex to begin with due to their overweight and unconfident status. The prospect of gaining 10 pounds would just put them exponentially further away from actually having sex. Henceforth and heretofore, foregoing sex is both an already realized reality and a tactical decision. If you weren’t having sex in the first place, why would you choose to gain 10 pounds?? It’s quite brilliant actually.

Phew, glad I figured that riddle out.

Three-quarters of both men and women would have been willing to give up something — such as watching TV, shopping, using a cellphone or computer for the summer — for a flat tummy.

That’s right. 3 out of 4 people would be willing to have something magical happen to them to lose weight, but are clearly unwilling to be an active part of the laws of thermodynamics. You can give up TV this summer and lose weight. Turn it off and go for a run for goddsake!