You Can Call Me "Boomer The Dog" Now

This guy scares me

I think everyone on that show “Hoarders” is a friggin whack job. I’ve never actually seen the show but I see commericals for it and I want to throw up. Ok maybe not throw up, but definitely dry heave. The people on “Hoarders” now have some loonie tunes company (That photo above is the actual guy).

Preparing for his day in court, Gary Guy Mathews, 44, took off his red dog collar and left his squeaky toy at home. It is now up to a judge whether he will wake up one day as Boomer the Dog and find his furry dreams come true.

As if the name Gary Guy wasn’t creepy enough. Hey Gary Guy!

Early this year he began the process of legally changing his name to Boomer The Dog, noting many of his friends already called him that: one of his exhibits in a hearing Tuesday before Allegheny County Common Pleas Court Judge Ronald W. Folino was a letter addressed to his adopted name from a friend named Hobnose Bordercollie.

Because anytime you’re looking to influence a judge with a dose of reality, compassion and reason, make sure your buddy Hobnose Bordercollie comes to your defense.

After years of thinking about the name change, Mr. Mathews, who is single, began the legal process early this year.

Really, he’s single? I would have never guessed.

The judge said he would issue a ruling in a couple days, saying he might rule against the name if it “causes confusion in the community” or raises the “likelihood of unintended consequences,” such as being “seen as bizarre.”

Don’t know why it would take 3 days to see that the name change would be all three of thsoe things in quotations, your honor. Then again, yelling for a “Gary Guy” in a coffee shop might get you awkward looks too.