...The Dog Bit His Toe Off While He Slept

Anyone got a toe?

We’ve all had the I’ve been so drunk I… moments in life. Each one seems more ridiculous than the next. Personally I’ve been so drunk that I hooked up with a 40+ year old woman who resembled Alf, I’ve been beaten up and thrown in a Mexican jail, and I’ve been woken up on a sidewalk in Madrid by a man holding a knife to my throat. But never ever have I ever have I been do drunk that I remained passed out when a dog gnawed off a body part of mine. This guy did.

Kiko smelled an infection in his owner’s right big toe and set about “amputating” it. Which in doggie terms, of course, means he ate it. All the while, Kiko’s owner, Jerry Douthett of Rockford, Mich., lay passed-out drunk in his bed.

Passed out drunk? After drinking what, kerosene and cokes?

Douthett awoke to find a bloody stump where his big toe used to be, and he and his wife rushed to Spectrum Health in Grand Rapids, Mich. There, they discovered Douthett actually had type 2 diabetes and was suffering from a dangerous infection in his big toe.

He was also labeled a heavy sleeper. WTF.