Your Kid's Ass Is Not That Important

Oh the horrors!

We live in a world of overreaction. Overreaction gets attention, makes people feel important and is annoying as all hell. God needs to start turning more people into pillars of salt so the rest of us have enough grains to take with everyday occurences.

A woman has told of her horror after Google published a photograph of her young son naked on the internet.

He was bound, naked, and had a Cheetos stuck up his ass…I’m also kidding.

Claire Rowlands, 25, was stunned to see the image of Louis mears playing on a sunny day in his grandmother’s garden in Walkden, Greater Manchester. Louis, three, had been snapped by Google’s controversial ‘camera car’ as it took pictures of every road in Britain for the search engine’s Street View service.

Yup, Louis is three. The photo is so grainy and Louis is so far away that if I was working at CTU, the director would most definitely say, “Enhance!” He’s 3! He still shit’s his pants. And lady, you had him running around naked in your front yard in the first place!

She said, “It’s such a clear image, I see it as an indecent photograph – my concern is that paedophiles could see it and there’s no way I ever wanted my son to be seen naked all over the world.”

Take it eeeeasy lady. I don’t know much about pedophiles and their ways but I don’t think they are scouring google maps for obscure photos of naked babies. This thing, the Internet you speak of, can be terrifyingly more specific than that.