She Broke The Law, Now She's Suing

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There’s something to be said for totalitarian states. For one, you would never have shit like this in your newspapers.

In a new twist on the “Twilight Saga: New Moon” movie-taping controversy, former defendant Samantha Tumpach has become the plaintiff. In a lawsuit filed today in Cook County Circuit Court, Tumpach alleges wrongdoing at that hands of the movie facility where she was arrested in November 2009 after employees caught her recording segments of the tween vampire hit with a personal video camera.

First of all, “new twists” happen in murder cases, not someone trying to out-retard someone else. But back to the lecture at hand, it seems absurd that you can sue for being arrested for something that is clearly illegal.

Tumpach, 22, is suing Rosemont’s Muvico movie theater for more than $50,000, charging malicious prosecution, intentional infliction of emotional distress, negligence and defamation. “She has suffered great public ridicule, embarrassment, humiliation, inconvenience, damages to her reputation and other damages,” the lawsuit states.

Jesus Christ. Did they douse her in gasoline and set her on fire?

Tumpach said in her lawsuit that she and her family had been celebrating her sister’s birthday at the theater, using digital cameras to take photos and videos of themselves. Tumpach said she videotaped the opening of the movie “hoping to capture the title and beginning as a memory of this exciting event.” She later recorded a minute and twenty-five seconds in hopes of capturing “her favorite actor take his shirt off,” the lawsuit states.

Sorry lady. It doesn’t make a difference how pathetic your case is, you’re still a douche. ‘This exciting event”? This wasn’t a live broadcast of the moon landing folks, it was a vampire movie. And nice thinking in regards to recording Taylor Lautner take his shirt of. God knows where you’d ever be able to find photos and video of him doing that. If only there were a network of machines that you could search through which could then manipulate images onto the screen of your machine, all in the comfort of your own home.

Tumpach alleges that instead of telling her that she could not record in the movie theater, the theater manager contacted the police.

Yes, because that’s how laws work. If only they would have told me to stop stabbing the guy instead of calling the police. I mean, SHEESH!