2 out of 5

Stop thinking, start doing

Why is a question about Jesus Christ in a poll about the future, anyway? Can we stick with reality, facts and plausible solutions to the world’s problems? No God upon high is going to come down from the sky and solve our problems. Read the Old Testament. He does not appreciate disrespect for fellow man or the earth we live on. Frankly, he’d probably rather see us rot, than come save us. And yet…

More than 40 per cent of Americans believe Jesus Christ will return to Earth by 2050, according to a poll.

Forty percent?! I’m speechless. What is the purpose of this poll? Why are we giving average people – with no basis of expertise on particular subjects – the chance to voice their opinions. For instance,

By mid century, 66% say artificial limbs will work better than real ones.

What?!? Who cares what these people think?! It’s inconsequential. It would be like asking what the color of the next nebula that NASA discovers will be. Where do these people get their information? How about we ask doctors and material scientists this question and take the microphone away from the fat guy wolfing down hotdogs.

31 per cent expect the planet will be struck by an asteroid

You hear that, space rocks? Americans fucking expect it. Don’t let us down.