"...Fans Pay To Watch Her Walk To Car..."

Mooooore!

Of course she’s American. Of course she’s in the news for being a complete waste of humanity. Of course she is consuming resources at the rate of a lone Hungy Hungry Hippo. Of course she wants to be recognized and celebrated for it. Of course she thinks she’s beatuiful. Of course I think she could do us all a favor…and die.

Donna Simpson, 42, from New Jersey, weighs more than 42 stone and aims to reach 71 stone – or 1,000lbs, reports the Daily Telegraph. She has her own website which gives fans the chance to pay to watch her eat greasy food or walk to the car. “The bigger your butt is, the bigger belly you have, the sexier you are,” she said.

How delusional do you have to be to say something like that? Fans PAY to watch her eat or walk to the car?! I thought we hit rock bottom, and then someone through a diamond tipped rotary saw into the pit we are all in and growing bloc screaming, ‘To China!!”

Miss Simpson spends as much as £516 a week on groceries, suffers from diabetes and struggles with basic tasks such as cooking and taking a shower. But she dismisses critics who warn that her weight can lead to health problems: “I’m very healthy. I go to the doctor every three months,” she said.

News flash: You shouldn’t be going to the doctor once every 4 weeks if you’re healthy. I know people who have malignant cancer cells riding piggy back on HIV clusters in their blood that go to the doctor less than this tub of shit. The animal kingdom would weed an organism out like this in a blink of an eye, before she could reproduce. And it would be glorious! It would be efficiency at its best.

Her fiance, Philippe Gouamba, 49, the father of her three-year-old daughter, says he finds her attractive and is one of her biggest supporters. “You look at her curves and see her full belly and generous hips,” he said. “It’s very sexy.”

Biggest supporters? Structurally? Like the flying buttresses on the Notre Dame that is there to keep the building from collapsing? Philippe, it’s not sexy. It’s gross. I know you must be blind and paralyzed, but this is no excuse for your actions.

This whole story is the alpha and the omega of the oversconsuming, ignorant, selfish, de-evolving human subspecies that is multiplying more than the people who actually give a damn.

She can’t even fucking shower. Dear God, we could use a large meteor.