High Heels 101

This might need some training

How does anyone expect a 16 year-old to just figure out how to walk and lift something on their own? Thankfully, there is now a college course that can help them. We’ve gotten so lethargic and reliant on not having to do anything for ourselves that it has come to the point that we need help ambulating and carrying a bag.

Teenage girls are being taught how to walk in high heels in a government-funded college course in the UK. The six-week Sexy Heels In The City course at London’s South Thames College costs 16-year-old students £150 ($268.02) and also gives lessons on how to carry designer handbags.

Were these girls recently taken out of a jungle in Borneo? Ripped from the hands of their mothers while the men were out hunting boar? Girls, figure it out! No one’s asking you to run the Large Hadron Collider, here.

“The earlier younger ladies learn how to walk in heels, the better it’s going to be in the long run – with business and social lives,” said former backing singer Chyna Whyne, who runs the course.

That might be the worst deduced logic I’ve ever read. Why are we listening to someone named Chyna Whyne? And what the hell is a “backing singer”? Do they back up the back-up singers? Maybe the back-up singers used to lean on Chyna so that they wouldn’t have to stand so long…in their high heels? If only those back-up singers had learned to stand correctly, they wouldn’t have needed to use Chyna as a stool.

Read her quote again. “…the better it’s going to be in the long run – with business and social lives.” The business of prostitution? WTF!