My Psychic Stole My Money

You can trust me

I want to believe that most human beings are not that stupid. But then my brain thinks about it for 2 more seconds and I have to succumb to the inevitable truth, which is, the majority of people are followers, followers tend to not think for themselves, those that don’t think for themselves can be brainwashed, and the brainwashed can be labeled as stupid. My guess is that the over/under line on who would be labeled stupid by “Commodore’s Objective Chart of Brilliance” is 72%. These people clearly drove the number higher.

Nancy Marks, a psychic from Lafayette, Colorado, was arrested for fraud after telling clients their “money [was] evil” and that she’d take their cursed cash so “the money would suffer” instead. Marks made at least $290,000 using this scam. Marks – who runs a psychic reading business creatively named Psychic Readings – warned victims that malicious spirits were haunting their bank accounts and that she would take the evil assets off their hands. Her scam would’ve continued had a whistleblower named Linda not contacted police.

Can’t we enact a new law that if you’re deemed “stupid” you get thrown in jail or have your case simply thrown out? The psychic shouldn’t be found guilty of anything other than guilty of being smart. Yes, I understand that we have to protect the general public from sexual predators, scam artists and the like, but if you’re giving your money to a psychic because they tell you that your money is “cursed”, then you should be psychologically evaluated and charged for that court ordered service. I’ll drive. Here hold this freshly poured cup of coffee between your legs on this bumpy ride. Don’t worry it can’t be hot because the label doesn’t say it is.