Bristol Palin Makes More Than You

This would be more productive

I blame you, society. Every single one of you U.S. Weekly reading, E! News watching, pop news eating people. Bristol Palin should not be paid to speak if the decision for a speaker was between her and one of the jive speaking gentleman in Airplane! But alas, my bell curve theory holds ture. It’s easy to be rich if you’re incredibly brilliant (Steve Jobs, Kurt Angle) or incredibly worthless (Bristol Palin, Glenn Beck).

Bristol Palin has signed with a speakers bureau for a tidy sum of between $15,000 and $30,000 per speech.

Don’t adjust your screens. No, I didn’t fall asleep on the number ‘0′ on my keyboard. No, that comma shouldn’t be a period. Yes, that is in U.S. dollars. Let’s say you work 2,000 hours in a year and get paid $85,000. Then let’s say Bristol speaks for an hour and makes $30,000. Now let’s just say that I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Her teen pregnancy and the birth of her son Tripp, resulted in millions of Americans discussing the issues surrounding teen pregnancy. Bristol has since gone on to become a Teen Ambassador for the Candie’s Foundation, and speaks about pregnancy prevention, abstinence, faith and life.

Yes, who else to teach us about pregnancy prevention, abstinence, faith and life other than a spoon fed teenage girl who got knocked up by a gay dude? Yeah, let’s pay her boat loads of money. You fucking people are retarded. No, that wasn’t a knock at you, Trig.