The End Is Near

How Texas defines brainwashing

Sometimes, Texas gets a bad rap for being Texas. It is a big state and it is filled with people of many different views and backgrounds. It’s not really fair to bunch them all together…until now. This state has to go. Sorry Texans. I mean God wiped out all of life on earth spare Noah and his band of two by twos. Can’t we get a sequel, but just in Texas? You know, for the greater good of humanity, and all.

The school board is to vote on a sweeping purge of alleged liberal bias in Texas school textbooks in favour of what Cynthia Dunbar says really matters: a belief in America as a nation chosen by God as a beacon to the world, and free enterprise as the cornerstone of liberty and democracy. “We are fighting for our children’s education and our nation’s future,” Dunbar said. “In Texas we have certain statutory obligations to promote patriotism and to promote the free enterprise system. There seems to have been a move away from a patriotic ideology. There seems to be a denial that this was a nation founded under God. We had to go back and make some corrections.”

Yes, because what really matters in history is your current ideology. Nevermind what actually occurred. How we want things to have happened is much better for everyone, eh Fraulein? We need to make sure that the “kamf” is duly written as “mein”.

Several changes include sidelining Thomas Jefferson, who favoured separation of church and state, while introducing a new focus on the “significant contributions” of pro-slavery Confederate leaders during the civil war. The new curriculum asserts that “the right to keep and bear arms” is an important element of a democratic society. Study of Sir Isaac Newton is dropped in favour of examining scientific advances through military technology.

Holy shit, wait, what?!? Hey Cynthia Jong-Ill, have your lost your fucking mind? You’re going to merely brush aside Thomas Jefferson and Sir Isaac Newton? Arguably two of the most important figures of the 2nd half of the 2nd millenium, and for what? Because of their bigger brains?

The education board has dropped references to the slave trade in favour of calling it the more innocuous “Atlantic triangular trade”, and recasts the Israeli-Palestinian conflict as driven by Islamic fundamentalism.

Oh good. What could possibly go wrong with one-sided brain washing teachings? Hmmm, I wonder if we have any other historical examples of youth being indoctrinated? Someone should buy howtostartalynchmob.com because I assure you that someone in Texas is going to be searching for that URL quite soon and looking to buy it.

But Commodore, aren’t you being a little harsh? Surely not ALL of Texas needs to suffer. Oh I think you all do…

Dunbar was elected to the state education board on the back of a campaign in which she argued for the teaching of creationism – euphemistically known as intelligent design – in science classes.

She got more votes than any other person and she was arguing that creationism should be taught in science class. That’s like drafting a one-legged guy in the NBA on the basis that he tells nice stories.

On the education board, Dunbar backed changes that include teaching the role the “Jewish Ten Commandments” played in “political and legal ideas”, and the study of the influence of Moses on the US constitution. Dunbar says these are important steps to overturning what she believes is the myth of a separation between church and state in the US.

I think we’re do for a Civil War any minute now.