It Dispences GOLD

No need anymore!

While Greece is about to implode, Thailand is at the brink of a Civil War, and oil is spewing into the water at a higher rate than a gang bang at a pool party sponsored by Canola, Abu Dhabi seems to be doing ok.

A machine that dispenses gold was unveiled at the Emirates Palace hotel yesterday. At the unveiling, the machine’s promoter successfully withdrew a one-ounce gold bar after several tries with Dh500 notes. The machine, called Gold To Go, dropped down a black box that contained the gold bar, further encased in a plastic box. Naturally, Gold To Go is itself covered in 24-carat gold. “A gold machine should be made of gold,” said Thomas Geissler, the chief executive of Ex Oriente Lux AG. “This is now at a hotel made out of gold. It is the perfect place.” For the UAE market, a special 1-ounce bar is being offered alongside 1, 5, and 10 grams of gold.

As most of the economic world is doing the Aaliyah (dusting ourselves off and trying again) while the real depression looms just over the 2011 horizon, Abu Dhabi has machines that shit out gold. We get Golden Grahams and they get golden bars that come out of a golden machine in a golden hotel. Are there golden Oompa Loompas running around too?

Where’s my golden ticket? WTF.