This is Kalmyk-cal

Ask the aliens.

What’s more surprising? Is it the fact that there is a Russian Republic named Kalmyk, or the fact that the leader of Kalmyk has had contact with aliens and the Russian government wants to find out what he told them? No, this is not taken from a screenplay.

A State Duma deputy has called on President Dmitry Medvedev to check whether Kalmyk leader Kirsan Ilyumzhinov might have divulged state secrets to aliens whom he claimed to have met in 1997.

You’d think with the speed that the Duma came down on Ilyumzhinov, that they mean business. 13 years? I assure you any state secrets are out of date by now. Yes, you have this wonderful game named Tetris. We know.

Ilyumzhinov told television host Vladimir Pozner on Channel One on April 26 that he had spent several hours in the company of aliens after they visited his apartment in downtown Moscow on Sept. 18, 1997. He said he was falling asleep when he heard someone calling him from the balcony. When he went there, Ilyumzhinov said, he saw a “semi-transparent half tube” that he entered to meet human-like creatures in yellow spacesuits.

This is a joke, right? “When he was falling asleep”? When I was falling asleep last night I was transported to a land that made no sense, where images mashed together that seemingly had no relation. It was all so real. I wonder if these same aliens were behind this.

WTF.