CNN = Categorically Not Newsworthy

What a workout!

The 3 letters “CNN” have ceased being relavant to the media world well before Conan left NBC. They lost their luster right after the first Gulf War when CNN went from the “little news agency that could”, to the news agency most interested in mouse clicks. For God’s sake, they employ Rick Sanchez, if you remember from a few days back. And now their investigative journalism brings you this malarcky. The title is, “Can laughing give you a workout?” The whole world knows the answer, so does CNN, but instead of throwing the story out we get,

One small new study suggests laughter could be as beneficial as exercise.

Does anyone vet anything at CNN, or is it like the Wall Street trading floor circa Spring 2007 with everyone screaming bullshit pitches at a the editor-in-chief who has as much control as Colonel Dike had in Band of Brothers in the Battle of the Bulge?

These initial findings do not mean a person can get healthy by skipping exercise and watching comedy on the couch. “It’s not rocket science that exercise is good for you,” Berk said. “It adds years to your life.”

And yet CNN, thought it would pose their article in question format to seem more exploratory. I wouldn’t be surprised if CNN titled one of their articles, “Did this man just create life?” only to find out that some guy planted potatoes in his garden.

Marilyn Galfin, who describes herself as a certified laughter leader and a professional clown, plans to start laughter classes in New York City for women who are trying to become active.

WTF. You can’t self describe yourself as certified in anything. I actually think that’s illegal. Laughter leader? Never be surprised by how 21st century boredom forces people to find purpose.

I describe myself as a certified master of love. CNN, contact me for my article, “Can this man impregnate EVERYone?”